Court of the Ginger King: Shitty Venues
As music fans, all of you have probably been to many concerts in your lives and many of you have been to shitty venues. What makes these venues shitty? Is it the people? The building? The rules the venue has? The promoters? What is it? I recently had the pleasure of visiting one of the finer establishments in Chicago, the Double Door. Although this venue and my rant is venue specific, it is indicative of a problem found in music today… the shitty venue.
First, some history, if you will. The Double Door used to be cool. It was on the cutting edge of the alternative music scene of the 90’s, its owners also own the Metro, which is in fact the furthest thing from a shitty venue, and in all honesty, it is an amazing venue. But in recent times, the Double Door has accepted some horrible policies, hired some horrible employees and, in general, has been unaccommodating to music fans.
Let’s recap an exchange I had attempting to attend a recent show. (Keep in mind, I was told I was on the press list with a plus one and allowed a camera.)
Tuesday, October 7th, 2008
It’s a rainy, shitty night out, and I walk a foot into the venue, where a shorter muscle head bouncer asks for my ID. Another foot forward, a tall fat guy bouncer asks for my ID, where soon after, I finally make it to the most important person at the concert, apparently (above five groups, mind you): the list name checker woman.
“Umm, sorry, your name isn’t on here, could you step aside?”
I make a call, I pull up a confirmation email on my phone, and I get two contact names from the bands off the email. This should be enough information for any hard-edged name checker lady.
I walk a foot into the venue again. The same shorter, muscle head bouncer asks for my ID, and after yet another foot, the same, tall, fat guy bouncer 
asks for my ID, after which, I finally make it to the most important person at the concert again… the list name checker woman. Deja vu, anyone?
“Well here are those names you gave me, they are on the final guest list sheet for the headliner.”
Sweet, I am going to get in after all, thank you technology by making up for a clerical error.
“Someone would have to come up here and talk to production and myself for you to be allowed in, tickets are still available for 20 dollars. If you aren’t going to buy any, could you step aside please?”
Wow, I am super glad she knew to push the tickets for 20 bucks! Budweiser and Mad Croc would be very proud.
Which reminds me, when the fuck did venues just partner up with beer and drink companies? I can get an assortment of beers and drinks at The Metro or other places, but it better be an Anheuser-Busch product at the DD, oh and if you are particularly thirsty try a Mad Croc and Well Vodka, because when you can only drink a poor Red Bull imitation, why go with anything else but whatever “well”-vodka they have lying around. But to be fair, the bartenders at the Double Door for the most part make their drinks strong and are quick with the water for the dancers in the crowd. But then again, bartenders understand how to please their customers, so they can always get jobs, and venues usually go out of business when they suck.
Speaking of dancing, the show this all took place at was a dance electronica headliner with numerous DJ’s opening for them. This was a 21 and over show, and while drinks were flowing, the main focus is usually the dancing and socializing at any show like this. Whether this tidbit is true or not, I was told by two different event goers that one of the DJ’s was asked to leave after his set because he was underage. If this did happen, rumors are rumors after all, real smooth, guys!
Whew, and you know what is excellent after being stuck in a venue with little to zero circulation, sweaty dancers, and absolutely delicious Budweiser products?
Wouldn’t you know, a fifteen minute wait inside to get a laminated smoking pass to be allowed to walk outside and smoke. Now, I realize the smoking ban changes a lot of things, but when doors to a show open at 8 P.M. and the headliner 
finishes at 1:15A.M., you need a better way to let people breathe or smoke then a total of 10 laminated smoking hall passes. What kind of fucked up world do we live in where people out of college need to be given a fucking hall pass to leave a venue for a minute?
So back to the story, as myself and 3 friends walk outside with our hall passes, we decide to walk away from the 20-30 people congregating right in front and walk down the street a little. I mean, what is 30 feet when you have a sweet ass hall pass, am I right? As we light up our fine Camel tobacco products, up comes tall fat bouncer guy asking us where we are going and what we are doing?
Last I checked, we waited in line for 15 minutes to go outside and now we are smoking, but of course my professionalism takes over and I answer with, “We wanted to get away from all the people by the door, it’s hot as shit inside.”
He responds with, “I need you guys closer so I can keep my eyes on you”
Mommy, the big scary bouncer is keeping his eyes on me. Apparently, when I try to enter a concert on a press list with names of contacts and a camera, I must be trying to cause a ruckus; I should remember that for future reference.
So we comply because we don’t want to get detention, because, hey, I need my weekends free. But of course, the name checker lady had to make an appearance. So, she comes outside and proceeds to tell everyone smoking to hurry up because people are waiting to come outside and, to quote, “Everyone better put their butts in the ashtray can because I don’t want to sweep up after you guys.”
Daddy, Ms. Name Checker Lady (as I’ll label her from now on) is acting like a bitch.
At this point, I have to settle down my photographer who is ready to snap off on this woman and was already saying shit about her inside. As for me, I’m still calm and in disbelief at the whole evening.
So as the evening progresses with dancing and ventilation problems, I notice another thing. When did venues decide to model their sound systems after pimped out truck sound systems? Never at a show have I heard more bass and nothing else. I understand it’s a dance show, but bass heavy dance is kind of a thing of the late 90’s, which coincidentally is actually the heyday of the Double Door.
I am going to be straight with everyone. I am a big guy and I was going through a cold at this show, so I wasn’t drinking, I was drinking water after water to try and stay hydrated and flush out my toxins. So when the headliner finished, I downed my last chug of water because I didn’t want to leave the venue with any liquids in a cup. I did however want the cup of ice for my sore throat. I would be willing to explain this to any teacher waiting outside for me or any Chicago cop. I have a clean record, I am born and raised in the actual city and I know Chicago cops, I’m not worried for myself. So, okay, back to the story…
I walk two feet out of the venue. My arm is grabbed forcibly and ice is spilled onto my sick, sweat-ridden body. Who is it? NAME CHECKER LADY. This fucking woman grabs my arm with absolutely nothing said beforehand, spills ice all over me, then yells in my face, “NO OPEN CONTAINERS ON THE STREET!” I respond with, “IT’S ICE FROM MY WATER! I’M SICK!” I then am pushed in the back from some person standing around, to which I have to rip this woman’s arm off of me, but not before she makes sure to ruin the cup and spill more ice on me. I make a move for the guy, he scurries away. Where I then proceed to walk towards the EL to go home. From a distance, she yells, “I hope you don’t plan on coming back here, you aren’t allowed at another show here, asshole!”
Okay, that’s my story. So, where does it leave us? Oh, the core topic.
Venues need to stop hiring people who don’t understand passion and entertainment. Music is a passion for some and entertainment for others. Going to a concert can be a great time; you can take a special someone there and make it the start to a great night or a great relationship. Other times, you can bring a long time friend and have a night out that you can reflect on later, perhaps when you are taking care of each other’s kids. Other times, you might just need to dance or yell or even mosh.
Why ruin it by providing a bad experience at the venue? Not everyone is belligerent and angry when they drink and not everyone drinks at shows. Also, with tobacco killing people left and right, I accept state’s decisions to not allow smoking inside, but smoking is part of a night out and for many it is an addiction. Why treat it as
a nuisance? Smokers talk and when a venue is anti-smoker, people will know it. Now, I understand marketing will forever be involved in music, but pause for a minute and remember that the beers each place sell send out a message. For example, a venue selling only Bud = kind of lame, whereas a venue selling Bud and everything else = kind of cool.
A concert or a night of music isn’t people at a bar; people are paying premium prices to come into your establishment, or venues. I am not asking you to act like angels or servants, that would be asking way too much, all I’m asking for is an appreciation of music and the fans of music. We love music, we love shelling out money for music and entertainment and we talk. Let music fans enjoy our music and enjoy our nights out! If not, you will be hearing about it from myself and any other music fans that are finished with shitty venues ruining shows for us.
That reminds me, for the music fans, if you are reading this and remember your own shitty venue story, let’s fucking hear it out! Don’t be fucking quiet! Let’s start a conversation on how to fix some problems.
To the Double Door owners: You guys are Chicago people, you own the The Metro too, that place is amazing, the people are amazing, there are few problems and it is one of the finest venues in the country. I implore you to take a look at the Double Door, because it has struggled to keep up to the high level of quality it attained in years prior.
Court adjourned.
Special Thanks to Joseph Wiegand for the new logo.
Check Out:
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Liberty State Park for All Points West…. ridiculous transit problems and a horrible alcohol policy. If this is going to become an annual event, they really need to make some changes next year. Unless I hear otherwise, I won’t be attending next year - unless the same two-night headlining act was to stop by again.
It’s hard to take away from Radiohead and the NYC skyline, but the promoters at this show managed to do it.
I would like to take this opportunity to talk about a certain venue in the MINNEAPOLIS area. Now I know that the Target Center is a bigger venue, which I don’t care for because I appreciate a more intimate scene but sometimes you have to bite the bullet. I’ve always hated this place for many reasons so I will only discuss my last visit.
I was at the Rage Against the Machine show during the RNC. I witnessed two very fucked up things happen that evening. 1. Security was letting people come down to the floor to mosh (way cool, when do you ever see that?) As I watch this happen (bout ten minutes into jumping rails) one kid, one, was targeted by an ASIA security guard. He took chase after him and got him. The kid wasn’t resisting as he was led out of the floor crowd. As soon as they were out of the crowd which was where I was standing smoking a jay, the security guard tripped and slammed the kid onto the cement floor. Blood went flying and the kid went limp, knocked out cold….ouch…. Now I’m sure the kid made it through with some pain killers and a few staples in his head but Jesus Christ….why him? 2. Two songs into the show they shut down all sales of drinks which might be normal, but water? Yes they totally cut off all sales of water and they were making people take small cups into the dirty ass bathrooms if they wanted water… I’ve never seen any venue cut off water sales especially at a show where people become dehydrated easily…. Allot of the time they give it out for free.
I’d also like to use this time to give props to FIRST AVE (stiff drinks), CABOOZE (letting me enjoy my ganja inside) and Fine Line…During a Kings of Leon show back in the day Fine Line security let me puke in the hall leading to the bathroom, puke and shit my pants while I was in the bathroom and pass out across two stalls. They told my friends “if he can stand he can stay”. I chose not to stay. They let my friends pull around the alley and helped load me in the back of the truck. They even made someone stand there to watch me and the truck while my friends finished out the show.
Wow, I got angry just reading your experience. Now I do not have a story to top yours so I am not going to try, but I have certainly dealt with power happy security guards, poor service from bartenders and bad beer (and when I say bad I mean, haven’t clean the lines in years bad). I also have to say that in general in Washington the venues are awesome and people are cool, but here are a few things that I have seen to make things better.
With ticket prices and surcharges rising you would think that venues would try to make things as easy as possible to enjoy the show. Should a show be ran like a restraunt where you are treated like a guest rather than a nuisance? Well, I suppose I would settle for something in between.
I am not a smoker and I like that Washington has outlawed smoking in the venues, but having a smoker pass is just plain condescending and I am not for that at all. There needs to be an area for smokers that is not difficult to access. Unfortunatley drinking laws vary from state to state and can often make it difficult to make sections for smokers. I know in Washington they are trying to make it easier for smokers and drinkers alike by merging permits.
In most of the venues in Washington we get stamps and often times invisible stamps except under black light so our IDs are only checked once. This is not a difficult thing to change.
Finally, venues typically have zero tolerance for violence, shouldn’t this also apply to the bouncers? Many are getting better training so that they can detain people who are out of control, but occasionally you see someone being very rough and when it is across the venue then it is just a lack of training and screening.
That’s all I have for now. Great article Russell, I hope your next experience is much better!
Thanks Dustin, I hope my next experience is a better one too. As for All Points West, I think festivals are a whole ‘nother beast…Target Center sounds crazy, someone should let the cop know that a joint is the least thing they should be concerned about especially at a RATM show in Minnesota.
To me a venue is bad if the sound system is sub par and if they don’t accommodate the band well.
webster theatre in Hartford CT - horrible staff, sound, and location for many many years. someone with $ open a new hartford venue and you will win.
Webster Hall in NYC. See all of the above and times it by 2.
The Beta Bar in Tallahassee, FL. Staff sucks ass, venue has shitty sound, and the ticket prices aren’t worth it in the slightest.
I’ll never skip out on a show if it’s at a lame venue, unless its a band I could REALLY care less about… but, while we’re on topic, just about any all-ages venue down here in SoCal I love from the bottom of my heart. Meanwhile just about any drinking/smoking venue I’d like to burn to the ground, and I’m looking at you dead in the eye House of Blues.
If Satan was in the concert business, he would be president and C.E.O. of Live Nation, and House of Blues would be his minion.
“If white people are going to burn down churches, black people should be burning down the House of Blues” - George Carlin.
Even worse than The Beta Bar, now dubbed The Engine Room is Big Daddy’s. Tallahassee venues are not that great, but this one takes the cake in terms of just about everything known to man.
Most of the Chicago venues are at least serviceable, and even though I live down the street, the Logan Square Auditorium has absolutely horrible acoustics but it is overall a good venue to see a show in in…fuck live nation, agreed.
Getting into the Roseland theater in Portland, OR, is like triing to visit someone in a maximum security prison. After slow moving single file line through an airport metal detector you are thouroughly felt up by an off duty cop where they confinscate camera batteries and anything else they want. The worst part about this is that no other venue in the area even pats you down on the way in.
The Hollywood Palladium in Los Angeles. Though they say they’ve renovated it and it’s reopening soon, I’ve had such miserable experiences there in the past that I don’t even want to bother with the new version to reevaluate.
I feel your pain. Chicago music halls can be lame. NO MOSHING, NO JUMPING, NO FUN.
Oct 10th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
[...] week busy. From all the new albums (Oasis, Margot, and Ill Bill) to our interview with Faint and troubles with shitty venues, the last few days have been a bit overwhelming. And we didn’t even mention all that [...]