List ‘Em Carefully: Top 10 Albums for You Know What
Music and emotions have always been interlocked. You hear a song you love, you get excited, turn it up, and make a fool of yourself waiting for the traffic to clear. When carefully picked, it can be a tool to help you guide the night, be it a house party, a club, or in this case, a romantic evening (or not so romantic) with that special someone. It doesn’t matter if it’s your spouse of 40 years, or that person you have been stalking since high school, the right music can do the smooth talking for you, and keep the mood going “all night long”.
10.) Nine Inch Nails - Pretty Hate Machine
For anyone who has been in a long-term relationship, you know a huge knockdown, drag-out fight is inevitable. But so is what comes next (unless it’s a break up, then this doesn’t apply, and I’m sorry for bringing up a sore subject). Nothing says angry sex like Trent Reznor and this album, just make sure the people down stairs are gone for the night.
9.) AC/DC - Back in Black
Good ol’fashioned stripper rock never got things grinding faster. The only requirement here is a fireman’s pole and some singles. Just remember to tip well! Who knows, she could be paying her way through med-school.
8.) Ratatat - LP3
While a new record, this one comes packed with solid beats and a hint of jungle fever to help you go wild.
7.) Eagles of Death Metal - Death By Sexy
This one falls along the same raunchy, one night stand, lines of Back In Black, only this time you might want to get tested the next day.
6.) Beck - Midnight Vultures
Who remembers the video for “Sexx Laws”? Even home appliances can’t resist the urge. That was only the send off for some of the most fun you will have doing the horizontal tango with Beck pumping through the speakers. Even nerdy white guys need love, and if “Nicotine and Gravy” or “Mixed Business” don’t make this obvious, I don’t know what will. Remember, he’ll “feed you fruit that don’t exist”.
5.) Prince - 1999
If there is one name that is dripping with sensuality it’s Prince. Really it doesn’t matter which record of his you put on, as long as he hits those hi-notes nothing can go wrong.
4.) Parliament - Mothership Connection
The king of funk is back, and George Clinton is here to help you get down. This music was written for one thing, and one thing only, and if the porn industry approves, you know it’s going to be a good night…or afternoon…or morning. “There’s a whole lot of rhythm going ‘round”.
3.) Jamiroqui - A Funk Odyssey
Again, funk music is classic for setting the mood, and with his smooth voice, and heavy beats you’ll get the whole place jumping.
2.) Daft Punk - Discovery
“Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger”, “One More Time”, and “Digital Love”. Need I say more?
1.) Al Green - Lets Stay Together
Mr. Green helps you keep it classy with this one. He gets your point across with a romantic touch that is irresistible to anyone listening. Light some candles, bust out the Stouffers dinner, and get ready to make love.
Take rings off!!
Surprised no one mentioned the soundtrack to Last Temptation of Christ, an album that never fails to get brought up by someone when this topic inevitably rolls around.
I need a really short song. An entire album seems like a lot of work…
Have you actually ever had sex?
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Blood Sugar Sex Magic
Rico Suave, Lou Bega, and the Macarena.
I have a thing for exotic one night stands
………………
Oh and “God Save the Queen”……
Doing it to Vampire Weekend would be miserable, IMO. Try “In Rainbows”-Radiohead, “Strawberry Jam”-Animal Collective, or, for angry sex, “Shake the Streets”-Ted Leo/Pharmacists. Death Cab is good for comforting sex; Little Feat and Sound Tribe Sector 9 are good for drugged-out sex; Grace Potter and The Nocturnals for girl-on-top. “Abbey Road” is good for morning sex; and, of course, Girl Talk for that drunk sex you probably shouldn’t be having - just like “Feed the Animals”, the album not worth owning.
Honestly they’d all be great to do it too. Its pretty obvious all these boys responding don’t know what’s really up. Give Jamiroqui a chance! It’s perfect
Side 1 of “The History of Otis Redding”
Etta James’ “At Last!”
most of Etta James’ “The Chess Box”
Side 2 of “Sarah Vaughan: After Hours at the Blue Note”
Pretty sure this list eats.
anything by massive attack
e.n., i just would be afraid for my well-being, is all
Iron and Wine’s Sheperd Dog? Dummy from Portishead? Blue Album from Weezer?
Vampire Weekend? Andrew Bird’s Armchair Apocrypha? Does It Offend You Yeah? Hot Chip’s Made In the Dark? I love that Ratatat made it on the list.
adam, the feeling is mutual.
wow. i do not want to have sex with you.
This is such a “mood” thing and really just about any album could work, but three that I’ve found have survived in my bedroom stereo (and I highly recommend trying) are:
Compost 100
The Funky Precedent
And if you find that special someone, I can’t recommend anything higher than M.O.P.’s Warriorz. I’m not kidding.
Sade is the greatest album to listen to when having a more romantic affair, and I have to agree that Marvin Gaye is missing. For the most part this is probably your best list with 5 picks that match mine.
Dummy? Maxinquaye? Lovage?(as cliched as it might feel, it works for sure)
Excellent call on AC/DC, NIN, and Al Green.
Manson’s Mechanical Animals, anything by Marvin Gaye, and let us not forget the occasional Led Zeppelin IV.
Thievery Corporation - The Richest Man in Babylon
I did it to this album the other night. Hottest sex I’ve had in months!
This looks like you went to a used CD section of small record store and just grabbed any random albums. I’m not saying that’s what you did, but it sure seems that way.