Sting loses mind, records holiday album, fans to cry…

By Michael Roffman on June 18th, 2009 in News

10 Comments »
Sting loses mind, records holiday album, fans to cry…

This Fall, Sting plans on releasing a holiday album. Well, not a holiday album per se, but a record devoted to his favorite holiday: winter. Whether or not this makes sense doesn’t matter. All that’s certain at this point is one thing: Sting’s finally a nutbar.

Some fans might argue this happened years ago (“Desert Rose”, anyone?), but now it’s official. This is just downright insane — it’s asinine! Let’s recap, shall we? The man, Gordon Sumner, regroups one of the best modern rock bands in the past 30 years, The Police, only to disband it (without even attempting to write any new music) and instead records a Christmas album? His agent has to be missing sleep over this.

So, what’s the elusive Sting have to say?

“The theme of winter is rich in inspiration and material,” he comments, in a recent press statement. “By filtering all of these disparate styles into one album I hope we have created something refreshing and new. Our ancestors celebrated the paradox of light at the heart of the darkness, and the consequent miracle of rebirth and the regeneration of the seasons.”

Yep. He sounds like a kook, right? Absolutely. Yet he still plans on actually releasing this sure-to-be-unnecessary-effort, which is currently titled, If On a Winter’s Night…, and features a handful of guest musicians, including longtime collaborator, guitarist Dominic Miller. Sting goes on to explain the project’s insightful musical journey and yada yada yada, but it’s all moot. Instead of reading on, fans should file this one under, “Oops”, and take a number at the “Well, we’ll still hope for something logical” line that’s sure to wrap around the corner shortly after its release.

Now, to be fair, Sting’s maddening ambition to always walk the road less traveled has proved both interesting and disappointing throughout his career. But given the context of the situation, especially the countless missed opportunities with The Police, this is just really unfortunate. Who knows? Maybe we’ll all be caroling to his works by December. The world’s a twisted place. However, it’s a sad fate when a lute album (2006’s Songs from the Labyrinth) starts to sound more appealing. Someone better call Stewart Copeland and tell him to use those trademark beats of his on his ol’ pal’s head — 1983 style.

Sting’s latest mid-life crisis is set for release October 27th in the U.S and November 2nd for the UK.

TAGGED AS:

comments (10)

  • Well, if that is so, then greetings from a fellow stewartcopland.net user! (Thanks for the correction, of course) but Stewart really mentioned ironically that Sting and he (and Andy too) were in that kind of “competition”…it is somewhere hidden on Coplandia…..Dig it out! ;-)

    Anne June 19, 2009 at 4:57 am

  • Thanks, “Anne.” By the way, it’s http://www.stewartcopeland.net (typo, Anne?), and I’m a regular user over there. And least commercial? Sorry, that’s a pretty ridiculous argument.

    Thanks for the advice. I dunno what I’d do without it.

    Michael Roffman June 18, 2009 at 7:03 pm

  • Well, the author obviuosly doesn’t know that Sting and Stewart Copeland have an ongoing competition about making the least commercial album ever in their careers. So Stewart C. certainly isn’t going to knock Sting over the head for anything or anybody!

    Check it out on http://www.copeland.net if people don’t believe me!

    Thinking before writing is a nice advice from me;-) and BTW, it is Labyrinth not Labyinth (sure it is a typo)

    Anne June 18, 2009 at 5:17 pm

  • Actually by the end, the trio’s 151 shows grossed over $358 million.

    Winter June 18, 2009 at 2:40 pm

  • Sorry Moneypenny, you must be too involved with all that espionage over in London to get my point. I’m not looking at “opportunity” in the financial sense. Was the tour successful? Sure. Was it successful for the band as a whole? Not really. They hardly mixed up the set each night, they rehashed most of the ‘83 Synchronicity Tour (complete with visuals), and they didn’t even attempt to write music together again (which is what killed the band in the first place). So, I consider that a missed opportunity. Absolutely. Big time. And any self-respected Police fan would agree.

    Michael Roffman June 18, 2009 at 2:40 pm

  • “But given the context of the situation, especially the countless missed opportunities with The Police, this is just really unfortunate”

    Ummm…The Police reunion tour in 2007 grossed $133 million with more than a million Police concert tickets sold–sounds like a real “missed opportunity” to me. (insert eye roll here)

    You may want to get your facts straight.

    Moneypenny June 18, 2009 at 2:36 pm

  • No worries. That just happens to land near the top of my “Pet Peeves” list. :)

    dimwell June 18, 2009 at 2:33 pm

  • Thanks dimwell. I dunno what I was thinking. I must have missed the Reading Rainbow on that lesson.

    Michael Roffman June 18, 2009 at 2:09 pm

  • It’s “per se“, not “per say”.

    dimwell June 18, 2009 at 2:08 pm

  • It’s LUTE, not flute. And he certainly hasn’t lost his mind, he’s just exploring other musical genres and flexing his musical muscle so to speak, that’s all. And good for him since he has the longevity and intelligence (and money) to do it. The real Sting will be back soon enough, I’m certain of it, so stay tuned!

    Kathy at Stingfield.com June 18, 2009 at 2:02 pm

Leave a Reply