What on Earth is this video? Honestly, who came up with such a video for this cheesy electronic song “Pon De Floor”, a combined effort from British mix masters Major Lazer and Jamaican singer Vybz Kartel? Actually, there is an answer to that. The director’s name is Eric Wareheim of The Tim and Eric Awesome Show, but I would like a sample of the E this guy must have been on when he conceived the glorious video that is “Pon de Floor”. For those of you who are unaware of the song, it is a four minute dance number from Diplo and Switch, the two DJs who make up Major Lazer and it contains minimal lyrics, safari style beats, and obnoxiously high pitches to emphasize some sort of melody. This song is already fucking whacked, but the video takes it to a whole other level.
The video starts out with an explosion of color as though your iTunes visualizer just took a massive shit all over your desk. Following said explosion, is a mysterious African-American man with beady eyes and a bleached blonde Mohawk. Already, this video is entering the realm of weird. The man enters a pastel colored (purple) house reminiscent of the neighborhood in Edward Scissorhands and within it is a spectacle which you never would have seen coming. On top of a very vibrantly colored carpet is four very unique looking people, all wearing clothes that certainly stand out and are dancing around the living room in a remotely insane fashion. One might also note they are massaging themselves in an overtly erotic fashion.
The camera scurries around the room for a bit, revealing each dancer in all their sexual splendor (one of them is crying) and when the “DJ” glances at his hand, then to another color explosion and back to the turntables, the party is ready to get started. Suddenly there is a couple on the floor, the woman has her legs wrapped around the man’s waste as she thrusts him with her pelvis, and he repeatedly punches her in the face. I know what this sounds like, crazy ramblings from a deranged LSD addict, but they are not. This is the glory that is “Pon de Floor”. The dancing only gets weirder. People are humping the floor, humping each other, swing dancing and purposely falling from high locations onto one another’s genital regions. One such man sits on the ground with a woman on her stomach on his lap. He uses her legs, which are wrapped around his body, as a steering wheel like that of an airplane. The only thing remaining remotely normal in all this is the set, but even that looks flat, fake and color corrected to the extent of it being unrecognizable, but at least you can tell what each piece of furniture is.
For the rest of the video, people are dry humping each other to the point that it is a) unbearable to watch and b) more disgusting than any gratuitous sex could ever be. They continue to “dance” in front of numerous trippy and color alternated backgrounds and find new ways to make the humping more extreme. One such incident occurs when a male jumps from a top a ladder into the region between a woman’s legs. Also, another man uses a woman’s buttocks as a set of turntables. It just gets stranger and stranger from there on out, until the end, when the same bleached blonde dude lights an animated stick of TNT and blows up the house in yet again, a giant explosion of color. As the party moves to the street, the Mohawk man’s face is seen blown up laughing behind the house. The camera zooms in on his maniacal laughter and just when you think your brain might explode, the video ends.
There have been some strange music videos made, just look at the 1990s, when the art of music videos was trying to be purposefully strange and artistic, but now this has raised the bar to a whole new spot. Such dancing was unknown to me prior to viewing this video. “Pon de Floor” seems equally as offensive as watching porn on hallucinogenic substances, except Major Lazer makes better music. When Major Lazer hits the road for their summer tour, I will have see their show…I mean, then I can view this kind of dancing in person.