Remember that recent news about an ICP tour with Coolio on the bill? Remember the “black hole” comment about the Paramore/Tegan & Sara tour? If there ever were a black hole ingredient, we proudly present an “Ice Ice” comet…Deep Impact-style. It’s bound to be as delusional as said film, only half as talented and twice as unrealistic. No, this is not a hobbit with an acting career, just a ninja with a rap career (Did we say career? Whoops). Vanilla Ice, while having snagged the previously-announced Glastonbury date, comes complete with spreading word about a new album (coincidentally?) titled WTF.
Much like a car crash or an indestructible Gummi Bear (See Item #4), things like this appeal to a morbid curiosity in me that can never be fully satiated. I was a kid like any other kid during the “Ninja Rap” days of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret Of The Ooze, so morbidity plus nostalgia equals “Fuck it”; this is the kind of thing I was born to witness, raised to mock, and secretly duped into enjoying at times. Between Coolio, V. Ice, and the eventual new releases by Cypress Hill and Limp Bizkit… has Earth imploded, or did Super Shredder finally get more than a minute’s worth of screen time?
Apparently, Ice will take any gig these days for promotion. That is… any gig:
Pre-orders for WTF are available on Vanilla Ice’s Official Website, but as of yet there is no set release date. Meanwhile, let us remember that — love ’em or hate ’em — this is all in good entertainment (or comic relief, pick your poison these days). I shall henceforth refrain from cracking anymore jokes on the album’s title, at least until it comes out.