Between the last episode and this one, it really does amuse me that a sizable chunk of Glee‘s target audience is made up of younger girls. I thought that it couldn’t get much more awkward than hearing a bunch of preteens singing along to “Push It” at the Glee Live concert I went to, but oh dear. I’m certainly not complaining, because new developments in the plot and scenes in the show have been amazing, but I do feel a little pity for the parents that have to have the inevitable lectures about alcohol and sex much earlier than they intended to. Well, not really, actually, as shown by the ‘morals’ of these episodes.

While the previous episode focused on alcohol, this week’s one, “Sexy”, worked with the topic of… I’ll give you three guesses, and if you don’t get it on the first, go sit in a corner and face the wall. It’s another week where the musical performances aren’t that great, and in this case, one of them being quite literally painful to my ears. Considering that they’re Glee‘s main feature, that isn’t very encouraging. If you’re watching for the plot and character development as well, however, “Sexy” was a complete delight.

Gwyneth Paltrow returned from her performance with the peacock known as Cee Lo Green in order to reprise her character, Holly Holiday. This time, Holly’s subbing in as a sex education teacher…which is half perfect, and half inevitable disaster. She performs the first number of the show, Gary Glitter’s “Do You Wanna Touch Me”, to the glee club in order to somehow give them a sex ed lesson through it. While she did a fine enough job at the song, despite looking as if she’s having a bit of a midlife crisis, I couldn’t focus much on the actual song once the rest of the club joined in. The actors are all legal, yes, but the thought that these are supposed to be 16-year-old children made things a bit awkward, to say the least.

Blaine, Kurt, and the rest of the Warblers show up for their token number of the episode: in this case, Neon Trees‘ “Animal”. Once again, they put on a different take on a great song and made it equally as awesome. Though Blaine yet again gets the lead, it was refreshing to hear Kurt at least get a few lines solo. We’ve missed his voice.

As Holly and Will grow closer and the sexual tension blossoms, they performed Prince’s “Kiss”, which was undoubtedly the absolute worst performance of the night. The fact that my friend and I texted each other during it at the same time asking to be put out of our misery says enough. Neither Will nor Holly should have even bothered trying a song that was clearly beyond their ranges. Prince is Prince, and it’s very hard to imitate him, and very easy to make it sound like nails on a chalkboard. This was the case. While the number got a little better in the second half, once they harmonized and stopped squeaking as much, it wasn’t enough to save it. Or my ears, for that matter.

Fans of the Brittany/Santana pairing (such as yours truly) had many a reason to squee over this episode. Finally, after weeks and weeks of not talking about it at all, we get focus on the relationship between them. As they’re having trouble communicating, Holly suggests that, of course, they should open a dialogue with a song. In this case, it’s Fleetwood Mac’s “Landslide”; you might remember hearing the Dixie Chicks’ cover of it on the radio about a thousand times a day about a decade ago (including the Smashing Pumpkins, too?). Brittany and Santana only provided some harmony and backup to the song, while Holly took the lead. There was nothing particularly special about the singing itself, but it’s the actual performance that gets you; seeing Santana’s pained, confused looks towards Brittany throughout was enough to make your heart break.

The final song of the episode, Starland Vocal Band’s “Afternoon Delight”, was really nothing more than a bland filler. There was nothing interesting at all about the performance, vocally or otherwise, even if it was a little nice to hear Carl and Emma sing a bit again. It didn’t much make up for how boring it was, though. They probably should have taken some lessons from Ron Burgundy and his team; or, they could’ve avoided using a joke blatantly set in Fox’s other show…you know, the unjustly canceled, Arrested Development?

It disappoints me that Glee‘s musical performances aren’t consistently good; though, I’ve mostly been a fan of the focus on the plot. As said, this episode was another example of that. I’m comforting myself, however, as even though I had to sit through the sheer agony of the “Kiss” performance, the drama between Brittany and Santana more than made up for it. I mean, hell. Santana confessed her love to Brittany and cried. If that isn’t a complete and utter “holy shit” moment, I don’t know what is. I’ll forgive the show for making my ears bleed earlier in it.

Welp.

And at the very least, it’s amusing to think about all the talks parents are going to have to have to their kids after this episode. I’m glad, though; it’s about time that a primetime show didn’t shy away from issues such as these, especially that of homosexuality. Especially one with such a wide audience…and one that isn’t a friggin’ kid’s show to begin with. But I’ll leave it there before I turn this into some kind of serious business essay.

Glee Cast – “Do You Wanna Touch Me” (Gary Glitter)

Glee Cast – “Animal” (Neon Trees)

Glee Cast – “Kiss” (Prince)

Glee Cast – “Landslide” (Fleetwood Mac)

Glee Cast – “Afternoon Delight” (Starland Vocal Band)