Album Reviews

Kittie – I’ve Failed You

on August 29, 2011, 7:57am
kittie F
Release Date

Kittie is the reason why A) Jack Off Jill was smart to quit when they were ahead, and B) goth chicks with a lover’s quarrel should make like Fairuza Balk in The Craft and remain sequestered in solitary confinement somewhere.

I admit, while this “riot grrl” act dressed in Hot Topic clearance sales struck angry teen gold on their first two releases (1999′s Spit, 2001′s Oracle), not to mention honed a damn good metal rendition of Pink Floyd’s “Run Like Hell”, Kittie remains the bastard prostitute daughter of the nu-metal era.

I’ve Failed You takes the reins from two previous forgettable album titles, alternatively offering nothing short of mediocre hardcore (“I’ve Failed You”) with a 50% sentimental “epic” for show (the two-part “Empires”). Much as KoRn’s III represents why going back to an old formula without due respect can devastate a comeback, Kittie’s latest run on rebooted images and generic album art yields the reason some late-’90s cusp performers will never regain their footing commercially or artistically: They flat out sucked to begin with.

Kittie was what Splendora would have been if you replaced punk rock and a tie-in to MTV’s Daria with a half-assed Otep and a Wiccan on PMS; there’s fervor and rage, but almost no substance beyond existing to help feed a then already-saturated market. This particular group of gals caught a peak before immediately being quashed by notoriously constant lineup changes during a significantly short lifespan. The surviving band is a small glimpse of the old (“What Have I Done?”) with a ton of the reckless new draped in uninspired titling (“Come Undone”, “Ugly”). Even when shorter tracks bank on Norma Jean fans to denounce metalcore chaos in favor of lighter approaches, there are no props for whatever the hell one called Kittie to begin with.

One second it sounds like either Slipknot had the band fronted by that chick who essentially is Paramore (“Never Come Home”), or Cyndi Lauper as Alice Cooper on Halloween (“Time Never Heals”); the next, I’m reminded of what happens to nu-metal bands who once submitted stellar cover songs before flickering into maddening obsolescence. They provide album titles that unintentionally sum up a blatant truth.

In this case, that message should be fucking obvious.

Essential Tracks: No, thanks.


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January 26, 2013 at 3:35 pm

but i would also say that the person insulted their work and sorry you didn’t enjoy it but my musical tastes are much broader but i play guitar too

January 26, 2013 at 3:30 pm

well i read the review and its safe to say that I’ve failed you record by the band kittie didn’t measure up to this persons standards. so what do i have to say about this latest release i’ve enjoyed listening to kittie since spit and i knew the band would go places and i was right

Metal Assault
September 15, 2011 at 9:42 am

Completely disagree with this review.

September 11, 2011 at 11:10 am

Very bad review. Get your act together.

September 6, 2011 at 5:49 pm

Was there ever any chance that this fucking pathetic excuse for a ‘journalist’ was going to give a fair assessment of the album when he holds such negative opinions of the band?  ‘Senior Staff Writer’, Dave? Seriously?!  Perhaps next time you should let the fucking Junior Staff Writer write your reviews instead.

August 30, 2011 at 2:41 am

fuckng loser

Gore Lando
August 29, 2011 at 11:46 pm

shut the fuck up faggot


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