Future Music Headlines
June 28th, 2013 in
It’s been an incredible year for unbelievable headlines. Seriously, it seems like the unthinkable happens each and every day in 2013, whether it’s reunion gigs with The Replacements; a new single by a Kim Deal-less Pixies; actual tangible albums released by My Bloody Valentine, David Bowie, Daft Punk, and Boards of Canada; a reality that involves Kanye’s offspring; and a return to the road by Dave Chappelle. By year’s end, we might be out of stories to report on — then again, anything’s possible.
David Lynch severs ties with David Lynch after epileptic seizure
Samsung post 500,000 copies of Magna Carta Holy Grail on Craigslist.
TLC re-record “Waterfalls” with Starscream
Daft Punk plays surprise set at Newport Folk Festival.
Daft Punk goes acoustic at Newport surprise set. Crowd screams “Judas” (French for “Judas”)
Drake attractive, knows it
North West heads South due to uncomfortable samples featured on Yeezus
The Smiths reunite at Glastonbury
Rolling Stone hires St. Bernard puppy as CFO
Kanye West prays to self for peaceful resolution to Cairo protests
Still no goddamn fucking Misfits reunion
Axl Rose announces formation of exploratory committee for possible 2014 senate run
Andrew W.K. to attempt world record in just fucking with all of us now.
Jay-Z buys rights to Alice in Chains and Soundgarden, never has to write lyrics again
Johnny Marr quits The Smiths
Rick Rubin defeats J Mascis in wizard duel atop Isengaard
Kanye West projects long-awaited baby photos on burned down Red Lobster in Great Neck, NY
Stephin Merritt spills mustard on t-shirt, shrugs
Obama urges those affected by wildfires to “find hope in Yeezus.”
The Smiths release new Johnny Marr-less single
Jay-Z teams up with Nabisco for line of Hov-eos
People start talking about Lana Del Rey again, maybe
Cobain’s ghost: “Actually, DIIV guy is the only person who ever truly understood Nevermind.”
Franz Ferdinand still trying
Ray Manzarek kicked out of heaven for sneaking into Forever 27 Club
Bill Simmons split on new Pixies song, blames Doc Rivers
GQ highlights must-have garments and accessories for upcoming Yeezus season.
Listen to Mariah Carey and Miguel’s “#Beautiful” re-recorded in Klingon
M.I.A. releases new song, “ARRRGGGHHHHH”
Morrissey on Nick Cave’s new doc: “I’ve lived 40,000 days. Fuck your mother.”
Empire of the Sun watch Dumb and Dumberer, drop out of Dumb and Dumber To
Jay-Z photographed with iPhone, dropped by Samsung
Beyoncé files for divorce
Andrew W.K., Daft Punk, David Lynch, DIIV, Drake, Empire of the Sun, Franz Ferdinand, Future Music Headlines, J. Mascis, Johnny Marr, Kanye West, Lana Del Rey, MIA, Misfits, Morrissey, Nick Cave, Nirvana, Pixies, Rick Rubin, Stephin Merritt, The Doors, The Smiths, TLC