R.I.P. Punk: Etsy is selling a “punk-rock starter kit” for $85.00

on July 17, 2014, 2:39pm

I’m more than a decade removed from my punk rock phase, but even still, I can’t help but cringe at the sorry state the scene has devolved into. Long gone are the glory days of Rancid, Bouncing Souls, and Madball; now the genre’s torchbearers can be found on the Warped Tour circuit playing to 15-year-olds whose outfits come courtesy of the Punk Rock Starter Kit.

“Did you recently see some punks at the mall, thought they looked sick and want to join the freak show? Well now you can with the kit that has everything you need for the other punks to stop calling you a poser.” That’s the opening pitch for said starter kit, which is now available on Etsy for the low price of $85.00.

Among the included items:

-Bootstrap studded with small (your’re just starting out) 77 cone studs
-Bondage belt
-Studded bracelet with bondage wring
-Studded wristband
-Totalitar and Varukers patches
-Mystery goody!

Oh, but wait, there’s more…

You also get a “list of cool bands to listen to and of attitude and fashion faux pas for your new look”! See, it’s still kind of about the music.

R.I.P. Punk, 1976-2014.


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October 29, 2014 at 1:11 pm

“The glory days of Rancid.” Funniest thing I’ve read all day.

October 27, 2014 at 8:32 pm

Whitey stole punk rock.

October 27, 2014 at 2:49 pm

So let me get this straight; Because this dude just wanted to skim some cash from the lazy, dumbass teenagers who can’t just throw together some stuff on their own and because a couple “genre-torchbearers”, as you call them, (who have been around long enough to gain some form of mass appeal and are signed to major labels AND sell their merch at shitholes like Hot Topic, just to add a bit of irony to your overall nonsense) are at a shitty Pop-Punk tour like Warped, you wanna call the genre itself “dead”? Especially after you fucking ditched it more than ten years ago? Fuck you, buddy. The fact that you even have the gall to do that without even bothering to TRY looking at some of the local underground scenes in Cali, Texas and New York, just to name a couple states, that are still going strong and still maintain realness shows that you were the poser all along.

And that’s not even mentioning that people have been paying others to make scene-wear for themselves since the scene started. My uncle was in the LA scene back in the 80’s and friends of his would hit him up to make patches for them all the time after giving him a couple bucks for the supplies and shit like that. This kind of shit from people like you only proves that you’ve never known how this scene works and that you should just stop trying to sound “Punkier Than Thou” all the time, ’cause people can see through that shit, bud.

October 26, 2014 at 11:14 pm

complains that punk is dead.
wistfully looks back on major label bands.

October 29, 2014 at 1:11 pm

This. Exactly this.

Manhandle Banandles
October 23, 2014 at 10:29 pm

Wait, so you cringe at what the punk scene has devolved into, longing for what your “glory days” of punk were so your solution is to sell a punk starter kit?

I feel like young you would want to kick you in the ass for that one.

Manhandle Banandles
October 23, 2014 at 10:31 pm

I immediately realize I’m retarded and this isn’t the actual thing.

July 22, 2014 at 10:34 am

ForSara is mad because I distributed his phone number after he sent me this hilarious message

“dude are you serious what a crock of s*** .people like you are worse then hot topic. I hope you choke on one of those leather straps you douchebag, your description of your kimade me want to vomit. Get the hell away from my scene it wasn’t created for losers like you to make money off of stupid 12 year olds. Get back to selling your art the way the punks that hang out in the mall are the posers.I am posting this using my wife’s account so don’t bother to respond to her if you would like to respond to me my phone number is area code 4:08 500 8371 piss off”

and then had to get it disconnected after I gave it to a bunch of people to prank call.

July 20, 2014 at 2:52 am

The guy, Sam selling this cheap crap is a douche, the stuff my cousin bought from him totally fell apart within a month. Save your money. Go to label sites like machete mfg. to buy some gear, or go to a show better yet. But god forbid don’t waste your money on this guys cheaply made wannabe crap

July 19, 2014 at 2:28 pm

This is clearly a joke making fun of the accessibility of punk these days. You are just one of the losers that got mad about it even though they have nothing to do with the punk scene.” The glory days of rancid, bouncing souls, and madball.” Fuck you.

July 19, 2014 at 1:40 pm

Fuck off. Sam is a talented craftsman selling his work online, if you read that description and found some larger significance, you’re as big a shithead as your writing and picture would indicate. Glory days of Rancid, Bouncing Souls, and Madball? Give me a break. People, lots of them, still do, and always will, love that garbage. Is Rancid more “punk” than these products because you can buy their t-shirts at any Hot Topic or Wal Mart, whereas here you have to use the big, evil internet? Reading your “article”, I can’t imagine you are or ever were the target of these products, but if “punk is dead”, it’s because of shits like you.

July 19, 2014 at 9:05 am

thats not punk. what everyone is doin now is not punk!! PUNK IS DEAD!!!
only the few real punks lingers in the alleys and dumpsters!!!
and were not buying shit from popular stores. not buying shit for the reason to look kool.

Manhandle Banandles
October 23, 2014 at 10:34 pm

Punk isn’t dead, it’s just middle aged, has an alcohol problem and is probably homeless.

October 24, 2014 at 8:57 am

its in the underground where it will always be. with Lou Reed, Tom waits, John cooper clarke, and Iggy pop.

October 29, 2014 at 1:12 pm

Punk isn’t dead, it just goes to bed at a more reasonable hour these days.

July 18, 2014 at 5:26 pm

This isn’t being sold by Etsy. This is being sold by one single user who has a store page on Etsy.

July 17, 2014 at 11:55 pm

Anyone else think the kit is a joke?

July 17, 2014 at 9:44 pm

Ah yes, the glory days of punk – Rancid and Madball.

July 17, 2014 at 2:42 pm

Punk has been dead for a while. Like every other niche, suits have found a way to make it profitable and are now milking it for all it’s worth. But who cares?

God bless capitalism.

July 17, 2014 at 4:27 pm

Back in the early days, nobody wore this kind of shit. And that was when the music was still good too.

If you want to look like you’re a genuine punk and not some snotty trailblazer, just wear an album cover t-shirt of something made before 1982.

July 17, 2014 at 4:44 pm

Yeah you are right!!! I will wear that Ramones shirt I got from Forever 21. It’s pre-82 so I am legit and oh so #trendy.

Just kidding. Go to bed dad. You’re drunk.


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