Back in February, rapper/actor/podcast enthusiast Ice-T revealed that he had recorded a Dungeons & Dragons audiobook. At the time, Ice said he found the gig “impossible” thanks to the complex pronunciation involved, and added that he thought D&D’s rich universe was “some of the most crazy, deep, deep nerd shit. Motherfuckers talk like Yoda.”
If you’re like me and would readily give up your firstborn in order to hear Detective Fin Tutuola mutter words like “Zerthimon,” then you’re in luck. Ice’s audiobook reading of “Comrades at Odds” is now available for download, and several clips have also made their way online. Ice’s short story is part of the larger “The Legends of Drizzt” collection, which focuses on the series’ most beloved characters and — wait for it — a legit talking, sentient sword called Khazid’hea.
What this means for us non-aficionados is that you get to hear Ice say the under-utilized word “derision,” paint a truly vivid picture of someone riding a magical pegasus, voice the character of the moon elf Innovindil, read an epic battle between orcs with the enthusiasm of a morning spent at the DMV, and contemplate the moral ambiguity of orcs themselves. Congratulations, modern literature, you’ve been resurrected from the brink of absolute obscurity by Ice “They Call Me Chuck Dickens” T.
Check out a few clips below. For more, head over to Something Awful.
“The Legend of Drizzt” collection also features voiceover work from David Duchovony, “Weird” Al Yankovic, and a true Hobbit, Sean Astin. Download the entire book for free here.
Below, check out an equally hilarious behind-the-scenes video.