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Madonna does stand-up opening for Amy Schumer, promises blowjobs for Clinton votes

on October 19, 2016, 5:06pm

Featured photo via Instagram/@madonna

Typically, if Madonna is going to take the stage at New York’s Madison Square Garden, she’s going to do so as a headliner. That wasn’t the case on Tuesday night, when the Material Girl herself came out to open for comedian Amy Schumer.

Madge was returning the favor for when Schumer opened for her MSG concert back in September 2015. But instead of coming out and performing songs, the pop icon delivered a short stand-up routine. She quipped about how the gig was her first time getting to the stage on time, and how she’s depressed about the lack of dick pics she receives.

Things got raunchier from there; her departing remarks were a plea for people to get out and vote for Hillary Clinton, for which Madonna offered blowjobs in return. “And I am good. I’m good,” she expounded. “I’m not a douche and I’m not a tool. I take my time. I have a lot of eye contact. Yeah, and I do swallow.” Well, nothing we didn’t assume from reading Sex.

Watch video of the surprise performance above and below. And go vote for Clinton.

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