Every few years, “Weird Al” Yanokvic graces us with another of his parody-laden albums, tweaking songs we’ve all become familiar with over the radio into things only his goofy little mind could come up with. And each one of those records he puts out contains a polka medley that tosses together a collection of big, random tracks from recent memory.

With Alpocalypse dropping June 21st, we get a new polka medley in “Polka Face”, this one also apparently inspired in-part by the Muse that is Lady Gaga. Though he’s been perfecting it live for a few months, thanks to Stereogum, you can check out the album version below, along with a breakdown of each included song. Behold, the power of a mighty polka.

Alpocalypse hits stores June 21st via Jive.

“Polka Face” Song List:
(“Liechtensteiner Polka” by Will Glahé)
“Poker Face” by Lady Gaga
“Womanizer” by Britney Spears
“Right Round” by Flo Rida
“Day ‘n’ Nite” by Kid Cudi
“Need You Now” by Lady Antebellum
“Baby” by Justin Bieber
“So What” by Pink
“I Kissed A Girl” by Katy Perry
“Fireflies” by Owl City
“Blame It” by Jamie Foxx
“Replay” by Iyaz
“Down” by Jay Sean
“Break Your Heart” by Taio Cruz
(“The Tick Tock Polka” by Frankie Yankovic)
“Tik Tok” by Ke$ha
(“Poker Face (Reprise)” by Lady Gaga)
(“Whatever’s Left Over Polka” by “Weird Al” Yankovic)

The other 10 stages, which are placed near the amphitheater in Henry Maier Festival Park, will feature an equally eclectic mix of indie, hip hop, alternative, and mainstream acts. Among the notables are Girl Talk, Ben Harper, The Flaming Lips, Dropkick Murphys, Hall & Oates, George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic, Meat Loaf, Matisyahu, Paul Rodgers, 311, Rise Against, Taking Back Sunday, Stephen Marley, and Wiz Khalifa.

Also playing are Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeroes, Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings, Amos Lee, Michael Franti & Spearhead, De La Soul, The Wailers, The Jayhawks, Wanda Jackson, Alkaline Trio, Young the Giant, Ezra Furman & the Harpoons, The Airborne Toxic Event, Old 97s, Nicole Atkins, Funeral Party, Civil Twilight, and AWOLNATION.

And for your parents: Def Leppard w/ Heart (on the main stage), Styx, REO Speedwagon, Peter Frampton, Kansas, Buddy Guy, and Blue Oyster Cult will also be appearing.

And for your 15-year-old self: Third Eyed Blind, Goo Goo Dolls, Switchfoot, and Finger Eleven will all be playing.

You can view the complete lineup as well as the day-by-day breakdown at the festival’s website.

Tickets for the Marcus Ampitheater headlining shows are sold individually via Ticketmaster. General admission passes, which allow access to all the other stages, are also available via Ticketmaster in 1-day ($13.00), 3-day ($33.00), and weekday ($6.00) configurations.

But if there is one way to regain some of that summertime frivolity and carefree attitude, it’s once again through the power of music. Sure, there are festivals galore, but if you’re not willing to travel, and you live in, say, Omaha, Nebraska, you’re limited to what festival experience you can undertake. Of course, there is one solution to the music-going experience that takes as much effort to attend as the work ethic of a 15-year-old on the Fourth of July: waiting for that big summer tour to roll into town. Every year, with the dawning of swimsuits and as the first hints of BBQs waft through the air, artists big and small hit the road to tout their new album and play for those with a lot of time on their hands. Despite the sheer volume of shows, just what ones will truly make the thermometer go pop?

As we do every other season of the year, CoS has your back. Presented below in easy-to-digest form, kind of like the hot dog itself, we’ve compiled a list of the biggest summer tours going down as we speak. From top 40 superstars like Britney Spears and Nicki Minaj to indie phenoms like Bright Eyes and Mountain Goats and from newcomers like The Vaccines to more established acts like Eddie Vedder and Roger Daltrey, a plethora of artists are heading across the country, vying for your attention and trying to make your summer actually fun again. We’ll tell you where they’ll all be, why you should be there, and how you can get your seat. All you’ve gotta do is show up. So, slap on some sunscreen, call in sick from work if you’ve got to, and enjoy great live music before winter comes back and puts a sleeperhold on this good time we call summer.

-Chris Coplan
News Editor

Feature artwork by Cap Blackard.

A Perfect Circle

There is a core, built-in group of people that need no persuading to see A Perfect Circle this summer, but there’s no reason the band shouldn’t sell out every show. Never mind that Maynard James Keenan is still, on a good day, one of the best rock vocalists around–and not too shabby on a bad day–and that APC released a couple of brilliant albums in the years (mainly between Tool albums) the band was together. APC will be playing the best stuff off those few albums, as well as at least one new song–maybe even more if the band is inspired. Even those unfamiliar with APC will find something to like about seeing the veritable supergroup live. This lineup of APC features the enigmatic frontman Keenan, mercenary drummer Josh Freese, and guitarist James Iha playing real music again. They’ll be at various festivals, including Lollapalooza (and basically everywhere else), from June to August. -Harry Painter

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When and where:
05/22 – Columbus, OH @ Rock on the Range
06/29 – Portland, OR @ Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall
06/30 – Kent, WA @ Showare Center
07/02 – Gibbons, AB @ Boonstock
07/04 – Winnipeg, MB @ Centennial Concert Hall
07/06 – St. Paul, MN @ Roy Wilkins Auditorium
07/08 – Detroit, MI @ Fox Theatre
07/09 – Toronto, ON @ Edgefest
07/10 – Ottawa, ON @ Ottawa Bluesfest
07/12 – Boston, MA @ Bank of America Pavilion
07/13 – New York, NY @ Hammerstein Ballroom
07/15 – New York, NY @ Beacon Theatre
07/16 – Philadelphia, PA @ Penn’s Landing
07/17 – Washington, DC @ Constitution Hall
07/19 – Charlotte, NC @ Time Warner Cable Uptown Amphitheatre
07/20 – Atlanta, GA @ The Tabernacle
07/22 – San Antonio, TX @ Freeman Coliseum
07/23 – Grand Prairie, TX @ Verizon Theatre
07/25 – Phoenix, AZ @ Comerica Theatre
07/26 – San Diego, CA @ SDSU Open Air Theatre
07/28 – Los Angeles, CA @ Gibson Amphitheater
07/29 – Sacramento, CA @ Memorial Auditorium
07/30 – Berkeley, CA @ Greek Theatre
08/02 – Morrison, CO @ Red Rocks Amphitheatre
08/05-06 – Kansas City, KS @ Kanrocksas
08/05-07 – Chicago, IL @ Lollapalooza
08/09 – Pittsburgh, PA @ Stage AE

Animal Collective

Since their 2009 tour in support of the ever-rewarding Merriweather Post Pavilion, Animal Collective hasn’t really let us go a week without something new: outstanding solo records from both Panda Bear and Avey Tare, solo tours in support of Panda’s new record, an epileptic Fantasia-style feature-film, an art installation, an incredible EP, and the list goes on. But for fans of the Baltimore Psych titans, it still isn’t enough. The band hasn’t had a full-fledged tour in two years, and when they have, they’ve stuck to Europe or the American West Coast. That’s why when AnCo announced a new string of dates this spring (including the band’s first ever stop at their last album’s namesake, Columbia, MD’s Merriweather Post Pavilion), people got pretty fucking psyched. Videos from the band’s recent California dates, including their stop at Coachella, reveal that there’s a lot to expect. First off, the band will take the form of band again. Noah Lennox will sit behind a full drum set, a returning Deakin will strum some chords and noodle around on an actual guitar, Tare will take the Billy Joel approach behind a keyboard, and Geologist will do whatever inexplicable shit Geologist always does. On top of that, they’ll be debuting a slew of new material, most of which sounds bandy-er than usual. And if Coachella is any indication, the light show might be pretty epic, too. -Drew Litowitz

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When and where:
05/13-15 – Minhead, UK @ ATP Curated by Animal Collective
05/16 – Eastbourne, UK @ Winter Gardens
05/17 – Amsterdam, NL @ Paradiso
05/18 – Brussels, BE @ Cirque Royal
05/19 – Cologne, DE @ Electron
05/20 – Berlin, DE @ Astra
05/21 – Warsaw, PL @ Klub Stodola
05/22 – Krakow, PL @ Studio
05/23 – Vienna, AT @ Arena
05/24 – Zagreb, HR @ Pogon Jedinstvo
05/25 – Milan, IT @ Alcatraz
05/26-28 – Dudingen, CH @ Bad Bonn Festival Kilbi
05/28 – Barcelona, ES @ Primavera Sound
05/27-06-01 – Paris, FR @ Festival Villette Sonique
07/07 – Orlando, FL @ The Beacham Theatre
07/08 – Alpharetta, GA @ Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre at Encore Park
07/09 – Columbia, MD @ Merriweather Post Pavilion
07/12 – Brooklyn, NY @ Prospect Park Bandshell (Celebrate Brooklyn)
07/13 – Millvale, PA @ Mr. Smalls Theatre
07/15 – Chicago, IL @ Pitchfork Music Festival

Archers of Loaf

The name Archers of Loaf may not spark a lot of discussion in 2011, but it sure did 15 years ago when the “White Trash Heroes” first made the rounds. The North Carolina noise rockers released four albums in the ’90s, scored some hits on college radio, and in 1995 toured with Weezer (the good kind). Their short run came to an end in 1998, but now that they’ve reunited, it’s a valuable opportunity to catch up on a slice of indie goodness on which many missed out. Imagine if TV on the Radio or Deerhunter broke up right now and came back 12 years later. This is that, kind of. -Harry Painter

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When and where:
05/21 – Asheville, NC @ The Grey Eagle
05/29 – George, WA @ Sasquatch! Music Festival
06/03 – Los Angeles, CA @ Troubadour
06/04 – Los Angeles, CA @ Troubadour
06/11 – Austin, TX @ Emo’s
06/12 – Dallas, TX @ The Loft
06/25 – Brooklyn, NY @ Music Hall of Williamsburg
06/26 – New York, NY @ Webster Hall
07/08 – Chicago, IL @ The Bottom Lounge
07/09 – Chicago, IL @ The Bottom Lounge
07/22 – Atlanta, GA @ The Earl
07/23 – Atlanta, GA @ The Earl
08/05 – Washington, DC @ Black Cat
08/06 – Philadelphia, PA @ The Trocadero
08/19 – Chapel Hill, NC @ Cat’s Cradle
09/02 – San Francisco, CA @ Great American Music Hall
09/03 – San Francisco, CA @ Great American Music Hall
12/09-11 – Minehead, UK @ ATP’s Nightmare Before Christmas

Arctic Monkeys w/ The Vaccines

While Death Cab for Cutie and Frightened Rabbit may have had a lot in common, the case of Arctic Monkeys and newcomers The Vaccines is one of the past meeting the future. Arctic Monkeys started out as newcomers themselves before 2006′s Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not caught on big time across the globe. Subsequent albums have seen the band’s stock rise, and now, as they ready to drop their fourth album, Suck It and See, the rockers find themselves on a precipice of sorts, ready to grab some of that initial fame once again or float off into oblivion if the rest of the album doesn’t meet raving-mad fan expectations. Regardless of where they land, they’re taking their hard work and making a go of recreating their success for The Vaccines. AM’s fellow countrymen dropped their debut LP back in March and find themselves in a place Alex Turner and company once did not so long ago: great songs, beloved by critics everywhere, looking for that one spark to blow their career up and possibly put them in line for some well-deserved attention in the indie rock world. While no result is definitive, one thing is certain: This tour is going to be one crazy-good time, mates. -Chris Coplan

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When and where:
05/17 – Washington, DC @ 9:30 Club
05/18 – Philadelphia, PA @ Electric Factory
05/19 – Boston, MA @ House of Blues
05/21 – Toronto, ON @ Kool Haus
05/22 – Montreal, QC @ L’Olympia
05/24 – New York, NY @ Summer Stage
05/26 – Detroit, MI @ Clutch Cargoes
05/27 – Milwaukee, WI @ The Rave
05/28 – Minneapolis, MN @ First Avenue
05/30 – Denver, CO @ Ogden Theatre
05/31 – Salt Lake City, UT @ In The Venue
06/02 – Pomona, CA @ Fox Theatre
06/03 – Los Angeles, CA @ Hollywood Palladium
08/01 – Dallas, TX @ The Palladium
08/02 – Austin, TX @ Stubbs
08/03 – Houston, TX @ House of Blues
08/05-06 – Kansas City, KS @ Kanrocksas
08/05-07 – Chicago, IL @ Lollapalooza
08/06 – Chicago, IL @ House of Blues
08/10 – Seattle, WA @ The Showbox
08/11 – Portland, OR @ Crystal Ballroom
08/12 – San Francisco, CA @ The Independent

Bright Eyes w/ everyone

Long has it been rumored that Bright Eyes‘ latest release, The People’s Key, will be their last under the Bright Eyes moniker. Acting accordingly, Conor Oberst and Co. have been/will be taking their show on the road for a massive world tour to finish things off in style. Touring partners for the spring leg include Jenny and Johnny, Dawes, Titus Andronicus, Death Cab for Cutie, and a pair of shows with M. Ward. But come summertime, the real fun starts. After returning from a European tour, not only will Bright Eyes be appearing at Lollapalooza, but they’ll embark on a short tour with fellow indie rock legends The Mountain Goats. Although The Mountain Goats are listed as the opener, this feels more like a joint headlining tour. And for the eight cities lucky enough to witness it, I’m sure both acts will shine like the true veterans they are. -Winston Robbins

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When and where:
05/23 – Saskatoon, SK @ Odeon
05/24 – Edmonton, AB @ Shaw Conference Center ^
05/25 – Calgary, AB @ Stampede Corral ^
05/27 – Bend, OR @ Les Schwab Amphitheatre ^
05/28 – George, WA @ Sasquatch! Music Festival
05/31 – Spokane, WA @ Knitting Factory +
06/01 – Boise, ID @ Knitting Factory Concert House +
06/03 – Denver, CO @ Filmore Theater +
06/04 – Council Bluffs, IA @ WestFair Amphitheater +
06/06 -  St. Louis, MO @ The Pageant %
06/07 – Louisville, KY @ Iroquois Amphitheater %
06/08 – Columbus, OH – LC Pavilion @ Indoors %
06/09 – Pittsburgh, PA – Stage AC @ Indoors %
06/10 – Philadelphia, PA @ Mann Center for Performing Arts %>
06/11 – Vienna, VA @ Filene Center At Wolf Trap %>
06/16 – Zurich, CH @ Kaufleuten
06/17 – Neuhausen ob Eck, DE @ Southside Festival
06/18 – Scheeßel, DE @ Hurricane Festival
06/19 – Berlin, DE @ Columbiahalle
06/21 – Colonge, DE @ Royal Albert Hall
06/22 – Paris, FR @ Alhambra
06/23 – London, UK @ Royal Albert Hall +
06/25 – Vitoria-Gasteiz, ES @ Azkena Rock Festival
06/28 – Gothenburg, SE @ Where The Action Is
06/29 – Arendal, NO @ Hove Festival
07/01 – Roskilde, DK @ Roskilde Festival
07/02 – Werchter, BE @ Rock Werchter
07/04 – Hradec Králové, CZ @ Rock For People
07/05 – Vienna, AT @ Arena Wien Open Air +
07/07 – Ultrecht, NL @ Tivoli +
07/08 – Birmingham, UK @ HMV Institute +
07/09 – Kinross, UK @ T in the Park
07/10 – Naas, IE @ Oxegen
07/12 – Gateshead, UK @ Sage +
07/13 – Leeds, UK @ Academy +
07/14 – Manchester, UK @ Academy +
07/15 – Suffolk, UK @ Latitude Festival
07/27 – Lewiston, NY @ Art Park ( Free Show) #
07/28 – Belknap, NH  @ Meadowbrook Pavilion #
07/29 – Shelburne, VT @ Ben & Jerry’s Concerts on the Green at Shelburne Museum #
07/30 – Montreal, QC @ Osheaga Festival
07/31 – Baldwinsville, NY @ Paper Mill Island Amphitheater #
08/03 – Grand Rapids, MI @ Meijer Gardens & Sculpture Park #
08/04 – Indianapolis, IN @ Egyptian Room #
08/05 – Chicago, IL @ Lollapalooza
08/06 – Columbia, MO @ The Blue Note
08/08 – Des Moines, IA @ Val Air Ballroom
08/14 – East Hampton, NY @ Music to Know Festival

! = w/ Titus Andronicus
$ = w/ Farmer Dave Scher
^ = w/ Death Cab For Cutie
+ = w/ Jenny and Johnny
% = w/ Dawes
> = w/ M. Ward
# = w/ The Mountain Goats

Britney Spears w/ Nicki Minaj

The key to a great tour isn’t just about how amazing the shows are or how much pyro they blast during the duration. It’s also about how the lineup works to perpetuate and facilitate a great idea or concept. In the case of Britney Spears hitting the road with Nicki Minaj in a supporting capacity, that notion is the batshit crazy, immovable object that does weird accents meeting the irresistible force of pop music who’s made a few questionable life choices (see: Kevin Federline). Along with being two of pop’s greatest commodities right now, Spears and Minaj are two very different narratives of the same sugarcoated genre. The plucky Minaj is in the boom period of her career, where a dynamic performance aboard this tour could keep her rocket ship to stardom on a path to complete domination. Spears, on the other hand, is on what seems to be her 100th career resurrection, free of all that extra weight (the metaphorical and physical variety) and ready to show the world she is still our pop princess. Sure, they’re working together to put on a great show, but with a tale of the tape like that, not to mention their diva tendencies, they’ll be going at it tooth and nails for our love and attention. And that means we win no matter who nabs the most headlines. -Chris Coplan

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When and where:
06/17 – Sacramento, CA @ Power Balance Pavilion
06/18 – San Jose, CA @ HP Pavilion
06/20 – Los Angeles, CA @ Staples Center
06/24 – Anaheim, CA @ Honda Center
06/25 – Las Vegas, NV @ MGM Grand
06/28 – Portland, OR @ Rose Garden Arena
06/29 – Tacoma, WA @ Tacoma Dome
07/01 – Vancouver, BC @ Rogers Arena
07/04 – Winnipeg, MB @ MTS Centre
07/06 – St. Paul, MN @ Xcel Center
07/08 – Chicago, IL @ United Center
07/09 – Milwaukee, WI @ Summerfest
07/12 – Dallas, TX @ American Airlines Center
07/13 – Houston, TX @ Toyota Center
07/15 – New Orleans, LA @ New Orleans Arena
07/17 – Atlanta, GA @ Philips Arena
07/20 – Orlando, FL @ Armway Center
07/22 – Miami, FL @ American Airlines Arena
07/26 – Cleveland, OH @ Quicken Loans Arena
07/28 – Detroit, MI @ Palace of Auburn Hills
07/30 – Philadelphia, PA @ Wells Fargo Center
07/31 – Washington, DC @ Verizon Center
08/02 – Uniondale, NJ @ Nassau Coliseum
08/05 – E. Rutherford, NJ @ IZod Center
08/08 – Boston, MA @ TD Garden
08/11 – Montreal, QC @ Bell Centre
08/13 – Toronto, ON @ Air Canada Centre

Death Cab for Cutie w/ Frightened Rabbit

Here’s a history lesson for the indie rock fans of the world. Back in November 2008, Death Cab for Cutie tapped Frightened Rabbit to open for them during their tour of UK and Ireland. Now, some two and a half years later, the American rockers are bringing back the Scots for another round of touring as they support their new LP, Codes and Keys. In various interviews regarding the record, the band have spoken about how the album is one where they’ve matured due to each band member having endured major life changes. With marriages and kids and new residencies, the band are dealing with issues of home and belonging to the machinations of updated sonics, with the record featuring less guitars and more ambiance than other DCFC records. Undoubtedly, some fans may love the new record, while others may yearn for the indie, guitar-driven noise of previous efforts. Cue Frightened Rabbit and the sound of emotionally wounded and vulnerable young lads dealing with heartache, being forlorn, and trying to be optimistic in a world gone mad. With DCFC expanding their repertoire and Frightened Rabbit making their music tighter, fans are going to get the best of both worlds. Also, they may cry or feel some shit. -Chris Coplan

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When and where:
07/27 – Columbus, OH @ LC Outdoor Amphitheater
07/28 – Detroit, MI @ Fox Theatre
07/29 – Toronto, ON @ Molson Ampitheatre
08/01 – Boston, MA @ Bank of America Pavilion
08/02 – Brooklyn, NY @ Williamsburg Waterfront
08/05 – Philadelphia, PA @ The Mann Center
08/06 – Pittsburgh, PA @ Stage AE
08/07 – Columbia, MD @ Merriweather Post Pavilion
08/08 – Cary, NC @ Koka Booth Ampitheatre
08/10 – Nashville, TN @ Bridgestone Arena
08/11 – Alpharetta, GA @ Verizon Wireless Ampitheatre
08/12 – New Orleans, LA @ Kiefer UNO Lakefront Arena
08/13 – Grand Prairie, TX @ Verizon Theater
08/15 – Phoenix, AZ @ Comerica Theatre
08/16 – La Jolla, CA @ RIMAC Arena
08/18 – Los Angeles, CA @ Greek Theatre
08/19 – Los Angeles, CA @ Greek Theatre
08/20 – Las Vegas, NV @ The Pool
08/22 – West Valley City, UT @ Maverik Center
08/23 – Morrison, CO @ Red Rocks Ampitheatre
08/25 – Chicago, IL @ UIC Pavilion
08/26 – St. Paul, MN @ Roy Wilkins Auditorium

The Decemberists

Folk-phenoms The Decemberists are literally at the top of their game, having just scored their first number one record with The King Is Dead. To help celebrate the accomplishment on tour, they’ve enlisted some impressive support: Mexican speed-guitarists Rodrigo y Gabriela, surf-pop revivalists Best Coast, and rising Seattle stars The Head and the Heart will all open select dates. Unsurprisingly, the festival circuit regulars will also hit at least five summer events. The real goods may come when they head the Newport Folk Festival in July; Gillian Welch, background vocalist on seven The King Is Dead tracks, is also on the bill, heralding the likely prospect of an onstage collaboration. Sadly, keyboardist/accordionist Jenny Conlee will be kept offstage through June (including Sasquatch! and Bonnaroo) while she battles breast cancer. CoS wishes her a speedy recovery, so she may rejoin her bandmates on what is sure to be a prodigious tour. -Ben Kaye

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When and where:
05/29 – Bend, OR @ Les Schwab Amphitheater #
05/30 – George, WA @ Sasquatch! Music Festival
06/10 – Manchester, TN @ Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival
06/11 – Raleigh, NC @ Raleigh Amphitheater &
06/13 – Columbia, MD @ Merriweather Post Pavilion &
06/14 – Brooklyn, NY @ Prospect Park Bandshell (Celebrate Brooklyn) &
06/15 – Philadelphia, PA @ Academy of Music &
06/16 – Portland, ME @ State Theatre $
06/18 – Telluride, CO @ Telluride Bluegrass Festival
07/19 – Jacksonville, OR @ Britt Pavilion ^
07/20 – Boise, ID @ Idaho Botanical Gardens ^
07/22 – Missoula, MT @ Big Sky Brewery ^
07/25 – Chicago, IL @ Aragon Ballroom !
07/26 – Cleveland, OH @ Jacobs Pavilion at Nautica !
07/27 – Interlochen, MI @ Interlochen Center for the Arts !
07/29 – Atlantic City, NJ @ Borgata Event Center !
07/30 – Newport, RI @ Newport Folk Festival
07/31 – Holyoke, MA @ Mountain Park /
08/01 – Lewiston, NY @ Artpark !
08/03 – Charlottesville, VA @ nTelos Wireless Pavilion !
08/04 – Cincinnati OH @ PNC Pavilion at Riverbend Music !
08/05 – Indianapolis, IN @ White River State Park !
08/08 – Austin, TX @ Stubb’s >
08/11 – Mesa, AZ @ Mesa Arts Center $
08/12 – Los Angeles, CA @ Greek Theatre *
08/13 – San Francisco, CA @ Outside Lands Music Festival

# = w/ Rodrigo Y Gabriela
& = w/ Best Coast
^ = w/ Typhoon
! = w/ The Head and the Heart
> = w/ Caitlin Rose
$ = w/ Sara Watkins
* = w/ Wye Oak
/ = w/ Sallie Ford & The Sound Outside

Eddie Vedder

For anyone familiar with Pearl Jam, it should not be news that lead singer Eddie Vedder is a ukulele enthusiast. Vedder has been known to pull out his uke during live shows and do either simplified versions of Pearl Jam songs or songs that he’d specifically written for the ukulele. The first studio recording of a Vedder ukulele song, “Goodbye”, appeared on the soundtrack for the Jack Johnson-produced surf video A Brokedown Melody in 2004. Seven years later, Vedder has compiled an album full of his tropical ditties, including the aforementioned song and lead single “Longing to Belong”, which can be heard here. Vedder’s entrancing baritone sounds right at home over the simple chords of the ukulele. He’ll be touring 17 dates behind the album (with Glen Hansard opening) this summer. One of rock’s greats playing quality ukulele songs for an entire set? A must-see, hands down. -Winston Robbins

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When and where:
06/15 – Providence, RI @ Providence Performing Arts Center (PAC) *
06/16 – Boston, MA @ The Wang Theatre *
06/18 – Hartford, CT @ The Bushnell Center for the Performing Arts *
06/21 – New York, NY @ Beacon Theatre *
06/22 – New York, NY @ Beacon Theatre *
06/25 – Philadelphia, PA @ Tower Theatre *
06/26 – Detroit, MI @ Fox Theatre *
06/28 – Chicago, IL @ The Chicago Theatre *
07/01 – St. Louis, MO @ Fox Theatre *
07/02 – Minneapolis, MN @ Orpheum Theatre *
07/05 – San Diego, CA @ Copley Symphony Hall *
07/06 – Long Beach, CA @ Terrace Theater *
07/08 – Los Angeles, CA @ The Wiltern *
07/09 – Santa Barbara, CA @ Santa Barbara Bowl *
07/11 – Oakland, CA @ The Paramount Theatre *
07/14 – Portland, OR @ Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall *
07/15 – Seattle, WA @ Benaroya Hall *

* = w/ Glen Hansard

Foo Fighters

Of all the shows this writer saw while at South by Southwest 2011, and in the first five months of this year for that matter, no one band delivered a more awe-inspiring performance than Foo Fighters. Sure, I’m a sucker for stadium bands, but hell, they’re capable of playing a 70,000-person stadium for a reason. Two-and-a-half hour sets featuring more hooks in the first 15 minutes alone than most dream of in a lifetime? Check. Touring the hell out of the world in support of Wasting Light, which is a strong candidate for album of the year? Double check. And they have Pat Smear back in the fold? Check-a-rooni! Springsteen might not but touring this summer, but at least we have a suitable alternative. So, have yourself a Foo-tastic summer. -Alex Young

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When and where:
05/20 – Memphis, TN @ FedExForum !*
05/21 – Gulf Shores, AL @ The Hangout Festival
05/23 – Council Bluffs, IA @ Mid-America Center !*
05/26 – Missoula, MT @ Adams Center !*
05/27 – George, WA @ Sasquatch! Music Festival
06/09 – Interlaken, CH @ Greenfield Festival
06/11 – Isle of Wight, UK @ Isle of Wight Festival
06/13 – Landgraaf, NL @ Pinkpop
06/15 – Milan, IT @ IdRHO Festival
06/17 – Neuhausen ob Eck, DE @ Southside Festival
06/18 – Berlin, DE @ Wuhlheide
06/19 – Scheeßel, DE @ Hurricane Festival
06/21 – Copenhagen, DK @ Refshaleoen
06/22 – Stockholm, SE @ Stockholm Stadium
06/24 – Oslo, NO @ Telenor Arena
06/26 – Helsinki, FI @  Kalasatama
07/02 – Milton Keynes, UK @ The National Bowl *^%
07/03 – Milton Keynes, UK @ The National Bowl *$#
07/06 – Madrid, ES @ Palacio de Deportes
07/07 – Lisbon, PT @ Optimus! Alive Festival
07/09 – Naas, IE @ Oxegen
07/10 – Kinross, UK @ T in the Park
08/07 – Chicago, IL @ Lollapalooza
08/09 – Toronto, ON @ Air Canada Center &~
08/10 – Montreal, QC @ Bell Center &~
08/18 – Kiewet, BE @ Pukkelpop
08/20 – St Polten, AT @ Frequency Festival
08/21 – Erfurt, DE @ Highfield Festival
08/23 – Cologne, DE @ Laxness Arena
08/24 – Ubersee, DE @ Chiemsee Festival
08/26 – Paris, FR @ Rock En Seine
09/14 – St. Paul, MN @ Excel Center +/
09/16 – Kansas City, MO @ Sprint Center +/
09/17 – St. Louis, MO @ Scottrade Center +/
09/19 – Auburn Hills, MI @ Palace of Auburn Hills +/
09/20 – Cleveland, OH @ Quicken Loans Arena +/
09/22 – Columbus, OH @ Nationwide Arena +/
09/23 – Pittsburgh, PA @ CONSOL Energy Center +/
09/25 – Buffalo, NY @ HSBC Center *
09/26 – E. Rutherford, NJ @ IZod Center +/

! = w/ Motorhead
* = w/ Biffy Clyro
^ = w/ Death Cab For Cutie
% = w/ Tame Impala
$ = w/ Jimmy Eat World
# = w/ Hot Rats
& = w/ Fucked Up
~ = w/ Doughboys
+ = w/ Rise Against
/ = w/ Mariachi El Bronx

Katy Perry

If there is one female artist in today’s music industry who seems to really have struck gold, it’s Katy Perry. Her most recent album, Teenage Dream, has garnered her four number one hits along with four Grammy nominations, and now she plans on taking the album on the road. With her European leg of the tour already completed, Perry is heading back to North America in early June for a 58-show run.

Along with her collection of number ones, Perry is bringing along a few friends to open the show for her. Surprisingly, these friends are Robyn, Janelle Monáe, and Marina & the Diamonds, each opening for Perry on selected dates. The tour, appropriately titled the California Dreams Tour, promises all of Perry’s hits and fan favorites, along with a continuation of her California Candyland theme from her “California Girls” video, which for many fans may just be the biggest selling point. The North American portion of the tour begins in early June and continues through September, when Perry heads back to Europe. -Arya Davachi

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When and where:
06/07 – Atlanta, GA @ Arena at Gwinnett Center *
06/09 – Orlando, FL @ UCF Arena *
06/10 – Tampa, FL @ St. Pete Times Forum *
06/11 – Ft. Lauderdale, FL @ Bank Atlantic Center *
06/14 – Raleigh, NC @ RBC Center *
06/15 – Columbia, MD @ Merriweather Post Pavilion *
06/17 – Uniondale, NY @ Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum *
06/18 – Boston, MA @ TD Garden *
06/19 – Newark, NJ @ Prudential Center *
06/22 – Uncasville, CT @ Mohegan Sun Arena #
06/23 – Pittsburgh, PA @ Petersen Events Center #
06/24 – Philadelphia, PA @ Wells Fargo Center #
06/25 – Uncasville, CT @ Mohegan Sun Arena #
06/28 – Detroit, MI @ Palace of Auburn Hills #
06/30 – Toronto, ON @ Air Canada Centre #
07/02 – Montreal, QC @ Bell Centre #
07/03 – Ottawa, ON @ ScotiaBank Place #
07/05 – Cleveland, OH @ Quicken Loans Arena #
07/07 – Milwaukee, WI @ Summerfest #
07/08 – Chicago, IL @ Allstate Arena #
07/09 – St. Paul, MN @ Xcel Energy Center #
07/13 – Regina, SK @ Brandt Centre $
07/14 – Winnipeg, MB @ MTS Centre $
07/16 – Calgary, AB @ Calgary Stampede $
07/17 – Edmonton, AB @ Rexall Place $
07/19 – Vancouver, BC @ Rogers Arena
07/20 – Seattle, WA @ KeyArena at Seattle Center
07/22 – Portland, OR @ Rose Garden Arena *
07/23 – Boise, ID @ Taco Bell Arena *
07/25 – Salt Lake City, UT @ Energy Solutions Arena *
07/26 – Denver, CO @ 1stBank Center *
07/28 – Dallas, TX @ Verizon Theatre at Grand Prairie *
07/29 – Houston, TX @ Toyota Center *
07/30 – Austin, TX @ Frank Erwin Center *
08/03 – Phoenix, AZ @ Comerica Theatre *
08/05 – Los Angeles, CA @ Nokia Theatre *
08/06 – Los Angeles, CA @ Nokia Theatre *
08/07 – Los Angeles, CA @ Nokia Theatre *
08/09 – San Diego, CA @ Valley Wide Casino Center
08/12 – San Jose, CA @ HP Pavilion ^
08/13 – Santa Barbara, CA @ Santa Barbara Bowl ^
08/14 – Santa Barbara, CA @ Santa Barbara Bowl ^
08/17 – Kansas City, MO @ Sprint Center
08/19 – Nashville, TN @ Bridgestone Arena $
08/20 – St. Louis, MO @ Scottrade Center $
09/07 – San Antonio, TX @ AT&T Center $
09/08 – New Orleans, LA @ New Orleans Arena $
09/10 – Louisville, KY @ KFC Yum! Arena $
09/11 – Grand Rapids, MI @ Van Andel Arena $
09/13 – Columbus, OH @ Schottenstein Arena $
09/14 – Indianapolis, IN @ Conseco Fieldhouse $
09/16 – Omaha, NE @ Qwest Center $
09/17 – Tulsa, OK @ BOK Center $

* = w/ Robyn
# = w/ Marina and the Diamonds
$ = w/ Janelle Monae
^ = w/ Oh Land

Okkervil River w/ Titus Andronicus

Okkervil River just put out a pretty cool new album. They haven’t toured in a long while, the last notable tour being their joint one with Wilco in 2009. But in a few weeks, Sheff will dawn his nicest professorial attire for a tote around the country. Shows at SXSW revealed a louder, more confident, more grandiose Okkervil River. There, the band mostly played newer material (mainly new stuff and songs from The Stage Names and The Stand-Ins, aside from Black Sheep Boy gems “A Stone” and “For Real”). So, get ready for a more raucous affair and a more volatile Sheff leading the Austin Texans into battle. Just don’t expect “Red” or “The Velocity of Saul at the Time of his Conversion”.

Joining them is the equally ferocious Titus Andronicus, still basking in the glory of their epic prog-punk masterpiece, The Monitor. While they may have lost longtime bassist Ian Graetzer, there’s no putting Patrick Stickles and his militant New Jersey-ites to rest. Expect epic renditions of already epic tracks, a whole lot of gut-wrenching fury, messy but magnificent guitar solos, antebellum facial hair, and sweaty T-shirts. And don’t forget to brush up on your Jersey iconography. It’ll be like The Boss got really angry, really drunk, and really fucking awesome (in that Civil War kind of way). With both bands on the bill, it won’t just be a one-two punch, it’ll be a one-two bayonet wound from the neck of a splintering acoustic guitar. -Drew Litowitz

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When and where:
05/31 – Atlanta, GA @ Variety Playhouse #
06/01 – Carrboro, NC @ Cat’s Cradle #
06/02 – Washington, DC @ 9:30 Club #
06/03 – Philadelphia, PA @ Trocadero Theatre #
06/04 – New Haven, CT @ Toad’s Place #
06/08 – Boston, MA @ Royale #
06/09 – Buffalo, NY @ Town Ballroom #
06/10 – Toronto, Ontario @ Phoenix Concert Theatre #
06/11 – Columbus, OH @ Newport Music Hall #
06/12 – Minneapolis, MN @ First Avenue #
06/14 – Omaha, NE @ Slowdown
06/15 – Denver, CO @ The Bluebird Theater
06/16 – Salt Lake City, UT @ Urban Lounge
06/17 – Boise, ID @ Egyptian Theatre
06/18 – Seattle, WA @ Neptune Theatre
06/20 – Vancouver, British Columbia @ The Vogue Theatre &
06/21 – Portland, OR @ Crystal Ballroom &
06/22 – San Francisco, CA @ The Fox Theater &
06/23 – Los Angeles, CA @ The Wiltern $
06/24 – San Diego, CA @ The Belly Up Tavern $
06/25 – Tucson, AZ @ Rialto Theatre $
06/28 – Lubbock, TX @ Jake’s

# = w/ Future Islands
& = w/ Julianna Barwick
$ = w/ NewVillager

Roger Daltrey

Pete Townshend’s incurable tinnitus has put into question the continued presence of rock legends The Who as a touring unit. Plans were formulating as recently as last September, but have yet to bear fruit. The band’s other surviving member, frontman Roger Daltrey, must be as antsy as his fans, because although his guitarist remains on the bench, he’s taking their classic rock-opera Tommy on tour through the U.K., U.S., and Canada. Filling in for Townshend will be his brother, Simon, and the whole thing has Pete’s blessings. With Daltrey getting up in age and Townshend apparently unable to work around his hearing issues, there’s no telling how many more chances there will be to see The Who’s iconic catalogue played by its creators. Not to be pessimistic, but if The Who are on your bucket list, consider purchasing that ticket now. Here’s hoping Daltrey pulls a Waters and takes this definitive piece of work on a proper world tour, and maybe Townshend can even join him for at least one night. -Ben Kaye

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When and where:
07/03 – Alchester, UK @ Ragley Hall
07/04 – Gateshead, UK @ Sage
07/06 – Glasgow, UK @ Clyde Auditorium
07/07 – Manchester, UK @ Bridgewater Hall
07/09 – Nottingham, UK @ Royal Centre
07/10 – Newport, UK @ Centre
07/12 – Bristol, UK @ Colston Hall
07/13 – Southend, UK @ Cliffs Pavillion
07/15 – Guildford, UK @ Guilfest
07/16 – Hampshire, UK @ Broadlands
07/17 – Harrogate, UK @ Ripley House
07/19 – Hull City, UK @ Hall
07/21 – London, UK @ Indigo
07/22 – Norwich, UK @ Blicking Hall
07/24 – Exeter, UK @ Powderham Castle
09/13 – Hollywood, FL @ Seminole Hard Rock
09/15 – Alpharetta, GA @ Verizon Wireless Pavilion
09/17 – Boston, MA @ Agganis Arena
09/18 – Newark, NJ @ Prudential Center
09/21 – Philadelphia, PA @ MANN Center
09/23 – Uniondale, NY @ Nassau Coliseum
09/24 – Hartford, CT @ XL Center
09/27 – Montreal, QC @ Place Des Arts
09/28 – Ottawa, ON @ Scotiabank Place
09/30 – Toronto, ON @ Sony Centre For The Performing Arts
10/01 – Windsor, ON @ The Coliseum at Caesars Windsor
10/05 – Minneapolis, MN @ U.S. Bank Theater at Target Center
10/07 – Hammond, IN @ Venue at Horseshoe Casino
10/08 – St. Louis, MO @ Peabody Opera House
10/11 – Cedar Park, TX @ Cedar Park Center
10/12 – Grand Prairie, TX @ Verizon Theatre
10/14 – Kansas City, MO @ The Midland by AMC
10/16 – Broomfield, CO @ 1STBANK Center
10/19 – Los Angeles, CA @ Nokia Theatre
10/21 – San Jose, CA @ San Jose Civic
10/22 – Las Vegas, NV @ The Joint
10/24 – Portland, OR @ Rose Quarter-Theatre of the Clouds
10/25 – Seattle, WA @ Key Arena
10/27 – Vancouver, BC @ Rogers Arena
10/29 – Edmonton, AB @ Rexall Place
10/30 – Calgary, AB @ Scotiabank Saddledome
11/01 – Saskatoon, SK @ Credit Union Centre
11/02 – Winnipeg, MB @ MTS Centre

Sade

2001. That was the year of the last concert Sade performed. So when she announces a tour, it would behoove you to pay attention. Playing in support of last year’s excellent Soldier of Love, the trek is absolutely massive with over 50 dates between now and September. She’s not the only one on the road in support of a well-received album, though. Joining her for most of the tour dates will be John Legend, who finished up 2010 with The Roots on Wake Up!. There are plenty of chances for cross-generational fanbases here. Sade’s older fans may get into Legend’s soulful croons, and young people may gain appreciation for Sade’s unique blend of smooth jazz. Nothing wrong with that at all! -Joe Marvili

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When and where:
05/13 – Berlin, DE @ O2 World
05/14 – Prague, CH @ Arena
05/16 – Zurich, CH @ Hallenstadion
05/17 – Paris, FR @ Bercy
05/19 – Munich, DE @ Olympiahalle
05/20 – Amneville, FR @ Galaxie
05/23 – Rotterdam, NL @ Ahoy
05/25 – Dublin, IE @ The O2
05/27 – Manchester, UK @ MEN Arena
05/29 – Birmingham, UK @ LG Arena
05/31 – London, UK @ O2 Arena
06/16 – Baltimore, MD @ 1st Mariner Arena *
06/18 – Pittsburgh, PA @ Consol Energy Center *
06/19 – Philadelphia, PA @ Wells Fargo Arena *
06/21 – Uniondale, NY @ Nassau Coliseum *
06/22 – Washington, DC @ Verizon Center
06/24 – E. Rutherford, NJ @ IZod Center *
06/25 – Newark, NJ @ Prudential Center *
06/28 – Toronto, ON @ Air Canada Centre *
06/30 – Montreal, QC Bell Centre *
07/03 – Uncasville, CT @ Mohegan Sun Arena *
07/06 – Boston, MA @ TD Garden *
07/08 – Indianapolis, IN @ Conseco Fieldhouse *
07/09 – Cleveland, OH @ Quicken Loans Arena *
07/10 – Columbus, OH @ Schottenstein Center *
07/12 – Atlanta, GA @ Philips Arena *
07/13 – Atlanta, GA @ Philips Arena *
07/15 – Ft. Lauderdale, FL @ BankAtlantic Center *
07/16 – Miami, FL @ American Airlines Arena *
07/17 – Orlando, FL @ Amway Center *
07/22 – New Orleans, LA @ New Orleans Arena *
07/23 – Houston, TX @ Toyota Center *
07/24 – Dallas, TX @ American Airlines Center *
07/26 – Kansas City, KS @ Sprint Center *
07/28 – St. Louis, MO @ Scottrade Cener *
07/29 – Memphis, TN @ FedEx Forum *
07/31 – Charlotte, NC @ Time Warner Cable Arena *
08/03 – Detroit, MI @ The Palace at Auburn Hills *
08/05 – Chicago, IL @ United Center *
08/06 – Chicago, IL @ United Center *
08/07 – Chicago, IL @ United Center *
08/09 – Minneapolis, MN @ Target Center *
08/11 – Denver, CO @ Pepsi Center *
08/13 – Vancouver, BC @ Rogers Arena *
08/14 – Seattle, WA @ Key Arena *
08/15 – Portland, OR @ Rose Garden Arena *
08/17 – Sacramento, CA @ Power Balance Pavilion *
08/19 – Los Angeles, CA @ Staples Center *
08/20 – Los Angeles, CA @ Staples Center *
08/21 – Los Angeles, CA @ Staples Center *
08/23 – San Diego, CA @ Cricket Amphitheatre *
08/25 – San Jose, CA @ HP Pavilion *
08/26 – Oakland, CA @ Oracle Arena *
08/27 – Oakland, CA @ Oracle Arena *
08/30 – Anaheim, CA @ Honda Center *
08/31 – Anaheim, CA @ Honda Center *
09/02 – Phoenix, AZ @ U.S. Airways Center *
09/03 – Las Vegas, NV @ MGM Grand Arena *

* = w/ John Legend

Soundgarden

Ever since Soundgarden crushed Lollapalooza last August for their first show in 13 years, the question on everyone’s mind was “What’s next?”. Not much news came out in 2010, but we got what we wanted this year: a reunion tour. Crisscrossing the United States, the Seattle rockers will be playing amphitheaters and arenas throughout the entire month of July. As if the chance to hear “Black Hole Sun”, “Spoonman”, and “Jesus Christ Pose” wasn’t enough, there are the openers to consider as well. The first half of the tour will feature Coheed and Cambria. Next up will be the insanity that is a Mars Volta performance. Then to cap the whole thing off, a couple of dates with Queens of the Stone Age right in the middle of their own comeback tour. Oh, and if you still need more, how does the possibility of new material sound? Yeah, we thought you’d like that. -Joe Marvili

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When and where:
07/02 – Toronto, ON @ Molson Canadian Amphitheatre ^
07/03 – London, ON @ John Labatt Centre ^
07/05 – Ottawa, ON @ Ottawa Bluesfest
07/06 – Uncasville, CT @ Mohegan Sun Arena ^
07/08 – Newark, NJ @ Prudential Center ^
07/09 – Wantagh, NY @ Nikon at Jones Beach Theater ^
07/10 – Mansfield, MA @ Comcast Center For The Performing Arts ^
07/13 – Philadelphia, PA @ Festival Pier at Penn’s Landing *
07/14 – Atlantic City, NJ @ Borgata Event Center *
07/16 – Chicago, IL @ UIC Pavilion *
07/18 – Morrison, CO @ Red Rocks Amphitheatre *
07/21 – San Francisco, CA @ Bill Graham Civic Center *
07/22 – Los Angeles, CA @ The Forum *
07/23 – Las Vegas, NV @ The Joint *
07/29 – Vancouver, BC @ Rogers Arena &
07/30 – George, WA @ The Gorge #

^ = w/ Coheed and Cambria
* = w / The Mars Volta
& = w/ Queens of the Stone Age and Meat Puppets
# = w/ Queens of the Stone Age, Mastodon and Meat Puppets

While Britney Spears and Rihanna may make for a more tasty musical duo, the former is relying on a different hip hop favorite for her upcoming summer tour. Billboard reports that Spears has tapped none other than Nicki Minaj to open her upcoming road trip, which is set to begin June 17th in Sacramento, California. Other openers include UK pop sensation Jessie and the Toy Boys and Australian duo Nervo.

Tickets for select markets go on sale beginning April 30 at Ticketmaster.com and LiveNation.com. Citi cardmembers will also have access to pre-sale tickets through Citi’s Private Pass Program.

Enrique Iglesias had been set to co-headline the tour with Spears, but dropped out just hours after the initial announcement. According to Billboard, Iglesias was upset over the way the tour was billed and how the money was to be split. Alas, we still have NKOTBSB.

Britney Spears 2011 Tour Dates:
06/17 – Sacramento, CA @ Power Balance Pavilion
06/18 – San Jose, CA @ HP Pavilion
06/20 – Los Angeles, CA @ Staples Center
06/24 – Anaheim, CA @ Honda Center
06/25 – Las Vegas, NV @ MGM Grand
06/28 – Portland, OR @ Rose Garden Arena
06/29 – Tacoma, WA @ Tacoma Dome
07/01 – Vancouver, BC @ Rogers Arena
07/04 – Winnipeg, MB @ MTS Centre
07/06 – St. Paul, MN @ Xcel Center
07/08 – Chicago, IL @ United Center
07/12 – Dallas, TX @ American Airlines Center
07/13 – Houston, TX @ Toyota Center
07/15 – New Orleans, LA @ New Orleans Arena
07/17 – Atlanta, GA @ Philips Arena
07/20 – Orlando, FL @ Armway Center
07/22 – Miami, FL @ American Airlines Arena
07/26 – Cleveland, OH @ Quicken Loans Arena
07/28 – Detroit, MI @ Palace of Auburn Hills
07/30 – Philadelphia, PA @ Wells Fargo Center
07/31 – Washington, DC @ Verizon Center
08/02 – Uniondale, NJ @ Nassau Coliseum
08/05 – E. Rutherford, NJ @ IZod Center
08/08 – Boston, MA @ TD Garden
08/11 – Montreal, QC @ Bell Centre
08/13 – Toronto, ON @ Air Canada Centre

The track, which you can hear below (via NYC radio station Z100), was hinted at last week when Rihanna asked fans for who they thought she should work with. In a Tweet on Sunday evening, Rihanna wrote, “I got a sexy collaboration coming your way super-dupa soon! By popular demand… it’s Britney bitch!”  Then, almost immediately, Spears replied, “Rihanna you’re such a tease! I like it, like it…” And now all of our Monday mornings are made better for this powerhouse of pop majesty.

– Want to know what went down at SXSW this year? You know you do. With that in mind, we put together a little recap of the festivities. And what about news coverage for that week? No worries. We’ve taken care of that, too.

– A Perfect Circle will embark on a massive North American tour this summer.

– Eddie Vedder detailed his forthcoming solo record and announced a string of summer tour dates.

– A brand new Fleet Foxes single called “Battery Kinzie” hit the airwaves.

– Cults may not have a proper album out yet, but they did drop another track this week.

– Toy, a long-lost David Bowie LP, leaked online.

– TV on the Radio put out an awesome music video.

– Guess what? More Record Store Day releases. Did I mention the titles in pdf format?

– And what would one of these recap posts be without a Foo Fighters update? The group posted the screening schedule for their forthcoming documentary.

– Justin Vernon revealed that the second Bon Iver LP is scheduled for a June release.

– Dubstepper extraordinaire Burial is back after long four years with new material.

– The last of Panda Bear‘s pre-Tomboy singles series became available.

– Hot on the heels of Angles, The Strokes are already gearing up for their next album another album next month. They also killed it on Letterman.

– Radiohead announced plans to release a free newspaper. (No, not another free album. Sorry.)

– Tom Waits was finally inducted into the Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame.

– The Flaming Lips and Neon Indian came together for an exclusive 12-inch single, which features four strangely titled tracks.

– This might not come as a shock to most of you, but Mercury Records has decided to pull the plug on physical singles.

– Pitchfork Music Festival announced its second round of lineup additions.

– The Pains of Being Pure at Heart are back with their sophomore effort, Belong. You can read Daniel Koren’s review by clicking here.

– What exactly is a review for a Britney Spears album doing on our site? Does it matter? Check out David Buchanan’s thoughts on her latest album.

It appears the everlasting showstopper/glorified dancing girl is bouncing two steps forward, a half step back, and remaining unscathed whilst glittered and painted head-to-toe. Does this missing evolutionary link betwixt Blackout and Circus really pool together the pop star’s greatest strengths? Is it safe to like sugary, danceable synth-pop when left in the hands of a manufactured figurehead princess? All signs point to “yes”.

Femme Fatale has been given critical OKs in the midst of an era that embraces Ke$ha, so take that with a grain of Wendy’s-approved sea salt (ah, modern times). This is not some impromptu comeback special like Circus, wherein Spears deviated from overproduced Blackout techno to appear matured and well-kept (not to mention sane). This is a legitimate attempt to forge a natural progression between Spears’ last two records, all the while maintaining her refurbished and reverberating persona.

The record kicks off with two dance-inducing singles, “Till The World Ends” and “Hold It Against Me”, both drawing power from Montreal producer Billboard (Ke$ha’s Cannibal EP, Adam Lambert’s For Your Entertainment). Billboard lends credibility and curiosity to those wondering whether Spears was aiming for juicy positivity on the floor, or merely staying with the times. The singles are extraordinarily infectious, as is “Inside Out”, which slows the tempo, simultaneously sending Spears back to basics vocally, and into 2011 sonically.

“I Wanna Go” and ’80s/Ke$ha-infused Billboard co-production “(Drop Dead) Beautiful” brings Dirty Vegas memories, plus phoning in that Far East Movement “Like A G6″ backing track would have been put to better use with Spears’ producers. “How I Roll” gets stuck amidst chunky dub, eclectic loops, and a ridiculously kitschy chorus, leaving even the guiltiest of those who cherish Spears in some state of indecision.

Further pushing that anti-accolade are the lame duck “Seal It With A Kiss”, and Will.i.am-handled house track “Big Fat Bass”, the latter of which might as well be a B-side to “The Time (Dirty Bit)” (otherwise known as the most annoying Black Eyed Peas song ever created). Honestly, one can overlook the former track completely, thanks to the latter’s sheer terrible totality, an example of why songs with a single, almost-cleverly-cute repeated lyric (“I can be the treble baby, you can be the bass”) can reduce a fractionally decent concept to utter drivel.

Thankfully, Femme Fatale is entirely rescued by backtracking to Circus-style material, with Rihanna-esque “Gasoline”, and the Ray Of Light-era Madonna influence in closing song “Criminal”. Who’d have thought that “Criminal” would also harken back to Coolio’s “I’m In Love With A Gangsta”, in terms of subject matter? Not the usual tag for the busty blond from the Mickey Mouse Club, but there’s a first time for everything. How Timberlake of her.

Spears and her fans needed this record. Pop music needed this record. It’s engaging, and, in pulling the best elements from her past two efforts, Spears and her production crew built a purely blissful account of currently-trending tunes. This totally makes up for botching that Bobby Brown cover.

With the first single from her upcoming Femme Fatale record, Britney Spears made it clear she wanted some affection right there in the club and/or the dubstep community. Now, with the album’s second upcoming single, a little number called “Till The World Ends” (via Complex.com), Ms. Spears is continuing her wild ways, coping a feel on the floor, practicing her soccer stadium chanting, and declaring herself “hotter than the A-list” with her future beau already on her “hitlist”. Check out the Ke$ha-penned, Dr. Luke produced track below.

Femme Fatale hits stores March 29th via Jive Records.

While they may say that baseball is the American pastime, we’re going to go ahead and submit that football is the true sport of God-fearing Americans everywhere. Sure, baseball has spitting, the 7th inning stretch, and nachos, but there’s something about football that transcends all that amazing stuff. It could be the increased violence or the neat-o uniforms, but regardless of all that, we’ll just assume it has to do with the fact that football has more of the total entertainment package. Plus, football’s the only sport that melds so brilliantly with rocking tunes and a dash of theatricality. And the pinnacle of that relationship can be seen each year during the Super Bowl: At no other time during the football season are as many big name acts involved and stops removed in order to give the gridiron’s acolytes the best 15 minutes ever. But like the ebb and flow of wins and losses, there’s good and bad halftime shows. And we do mean bad.

The following list is just a sampling of the rich history of halftime shows in the Super Bowl’s 44 year history. Some of them have been monuments to the artists’ careers, while others would have been better left to the cutting room floor. There’s been boatloads of patriotism, cartoon characters galore, crooners and rockers one and all, and moments of sheer hilarity and soul-crushing embarrassment not seen outside of a high school prom. Enjoy what we think has clearly defined the Super Bowl from its inception, and feel free to leave your own moments in the comment section. Be sure also to place your bets on how the Black Eyed Peas will do at this year’s festivities (somehow all the money in that pool is under “so bad orphans will cry tears made out of dead puppies”).

- Chris Coplan
News Editor

The Best

Michael Jackson – Super Bowl XXVII

The Super Bowl XXVII halftime show marked the first time a major solo artist was showcased, and its ratings eclipsed those of the game itself. The artist in question? None other than Michael Jackson. Lip syncing aside, MJ danced and stormed through a killer medley (“Jam,” Billie Jean” and “Black or White”) and a rendition of “Heal The World” alongside a choir of 3,500+ children, the latter of whom also sang “We Are The World.” Jackson delivered a superbly choreographed spectacle to 90.99 million viewers and raised the bar to a level that only a few have subsequently managed to live up to. “The King of Pop,” indeed. -Justin Park

U2 – Super Bowl XXXVI

It was only five months after 9/11, and the nation was only starting to creep towards the “I think we’re allowed to go back to normal” phase of our collective activities. But this halftime show, which could have been doused in pro-American rah rah rah,  proved powerful, genuine, and effective as U2 played a rousing rendition of “Where The Streets Have No Name”. I think it’s the only time you can’t get snarky about Bono, or the fact that the song choice seems … misguided. But the grandiosity of the performance coupled with the solemn scrolling of names makes for one memorable show. - Jeremy Larson

Paul McCartney – Super Bowl XXXIX

Unlike many other artists who have played the Super Bowl, Paul McCartney’s setlist wasn’t full of medleys, and his stage was relatively modest when compared to other years (no trap doors and ancient temples for this legend). Instead, Macca went out and played a short, standard set of Beatles and Wings hits, and the result was as explosive as one would expect. “Drive My Car” and “Get Back” saw McCartney begin an aggressive move up the field, but the eruption of fireworks during the climax of “Live and Let Die” was the move that nabbed the cute Beatle the winning touchdown. Closing up the proceedings with possibly the greatest singalong ever, “Hey Jude” was the field goal that cemented McCartney’s name as one of halftime’s true elite. -Joe Marvilli

Prince – Super Bowl XLI

Soaked in rain may have been the only way the nearly 75,000 sports fans at Super Bowl XLI should have experienced the halftime show, because what the Purple Yoda delivered was nothing short of a full-on baptism. As if watching him barrel through “We Will Rock You”, “Let’s Go Crazy”, and CCR’s “Proud Mary” wasn’t enough, Prince brought it down with “All Along the Watchtower” and a truly epic guitar solo on set closer “Purple Rain”, complete with a glowing marching band (courtesy of FAMU) and what seemed like a full-stadium sing-along. Did we mention that he did it wearing the silliest head wrap ever? -Ray Roa

Bruce Springsteen – Super Bowl XLIII

Forget eagles and apple pies; the Super Bowl is truly one of the most American institutions around. You know what’s even more American than sanctioned violence and multi-million dollar sponsorship deals, though? Bruce Springsteen. So, when The Boss took the field for Super Bowl XLIII’s halftime, he wasn’t just entertaining a crowd of sports enthusiasts; he was changing the halftime experience forever. He was a rocker, a rouser of spirits, an acrobat (peep his climb atop the piano), and so much more. From the opening chords of “10th Avenue Freeze-Out” to “Born To Run” and on into the ecstasy of “Glory Days”, Springsteen and his E Street Band picked up the religion of football and made those at home his followers, even for just 12 minutes. All hail The Boss. -Chris Coplan

The Worst

Magic Show – Super Bowl XXIII

So, this is an interactive magic show hosted by a character named Elvis Presto featuring music “from the 50′s!” like Mitch Ryder or The Stray Cats. Yup. Then, add hundreds of dancers who don’t really seem to be on the same page at all, several odd high school A/V club cutaways, and a poorly executed crowd-participation magic trick that confuses the living shit out of every person watching and participating. Oh, and the whole thing was in 3-D. Thanks, 1989! -Jeremy Larson

New Kids On The Block & Disney Characters – Super Bowl XXV

There’s a lot of things that cross through the mind of fans during the Super Bowl. Be it stats, pangs of disappointment, the heights of victory, or questioning how much avocado dip is left, we can say with almost total certainty that there’s at least one thing that most fans don’t think with even the most fleeting of thoughts: “Gee, I’d sure love to see those NKOTB boys right about now.” Yet for the glory that was Super Bowl XXV, that’s what they got. Whether it was the parade of children, the copious amounts of Disney characters, the dance moves, or just Donnie Wahlberg’s bucket hat (we don’t care if it was 1991), this performance is a strict reminder that football and pop music aren’t always the most marriageable of American institutions. -Chris Coplan

Indiana Jones, Tony Bennett, Patti LaBelle, & Miami Sound Machine – Super Bowl XXIX

Image via Nerve.com

We can applaud the Super Bowl for being daring and all, but there comes a point where you have to question the decision-making process. For instance, the halftime show for Super Bowl XXIX. We don’t care who you are, Disney, but no one messes with Indiana Jones by hiring anyone but Harrison Ford to play the character in order to– and we can’t believe we’re writing this– steal the Vince Lombardi Trophy from the Temple of the Forbidden Eye. But not even the bastardization of America’s greatest archaeology professor could dampen performances from Tony Bennett, Patti LaBelle, and the Miami Sound Machine. Until they all started singing “Can You Feel The Love Tonight” from The Lion King. That sure explains the mystery of why video from this abomination doesn’t exist online. -Chris Coplan

*NSYNC, Aerosmith, Britney Spears, Mary J. Blige, Nelly, Chris Rock, Adam Sandler & Ben Stiller – Super Bowl XXXV

The Kings of Rock and Pop. Not a bad theme for a Super Bowl halftime show… in theory. *NSYNC and Aerosmith weren’t surprising choices as performers, considering the fan demand for No Strings Attached and Just Push Play, respectively. But to play together? Something about that just didn’t feel right. *NSYNC kicked off the show with “Bye Bye Bye”, with Aerosmith launching into their hit “Jaded” soon after. The two groups would come together for a not-so-stirring rendition of Aerosmith’s “Walk This Way” that you wanted to end just as soon as it started. Throw in Britney Spears, Mary J. Blige, Nelly, Chris Rock, Adam Sandler, and Ben Stiller, and you have one huge clusterfuck of a performance that could have been so much more. That is, if no one present was involved. -Megan Caffery

Janet Jackson, Justin Timberlake, a breast, et all. – Super Bowl XXXVIII

This one will likely go down as the most infamous halftime show off all time– and it has nothing to do with the quality of performances. In fact, most people have probably forgotten that Kid Rock was there or that P. Diddy and Nelly ever even played a halftime show. What remains memorable is how this performance was responsible for MTV’s exclusion from all future Super Bowls, a nearly 1200% increase of the FCC’s indecency violation fines, and introducing the phrase “wardrobe malfunction” into the lexicon. The slipshod and over-crowded production value is all eclipsed by Ms. Jackson and Mr. Timberlake’s overtly sexual finale, culminating in his “accidentally” exposing her right breast. Oh yeah, and the theme was apparently “Rock the Vote.” What? - Ben Kaye

Architecture in Helsinki deem their forthcoming record “the first great modernist pop album of 2011.” I’m not sure where that puts Britney Spears’ Femme Fatale, but an issued press release does refer to her seventh LP effort her “best album to date, true to where she is now personally and professionally.” (That means a lot of dub step, apparently!)

Femme Fatale is due to arrive March 15th via Jive Records. Above, you can peep the album’s artwork.

Heterosexual males: I don’t care who you were, how old you were, or what kind of music surrounded you at the time of these releases, Britney made your stomach feel funny (or your loins, depending on your age). Parents loved her because not only did she sing cute pop music, but she was a shining example to children everywhere for being a proud virgin. Little did they know that we, their children, only loved her so much because we wanted to steal said virginity. But neither parent nor child knew that Britney was struggling with remaining proud about her virginity. But we should have seen the signs of her duress. They were all around. Cue the video for “Lucky”.

For those of you who completely missed 1999, or were too lazy to watch the embedded video, “Lucky” is the story of a girl, aptly named “Lucky”, who is dissatisfied with her fame and fortune. She’s got everything in the world, and yet, she feels as though something’s missing. “She’s so lucky, she’s a star, but she cry cry cries with a lonely heart, thinkin’/If there’s nothing missing in my life, then why do these tears come at night?” A tragedy of Shakespearean proportions, truly, and a story within a song worthy of Bruce Springsteen’s Nebraska.

But when you really analyze all the nuts and bolts of this fine piece of musicianship, you come to realize that this song might not be about a fictional character “Lucky” at all! Bear with me, here, but I think this song is really an allegorical look at Britney’s own personal life. Or, as youtube user xxmayraxx90xx so eloquently put it, “i think? this song was her really life, but no body get the message…”. Couldn’t have said it better myself, xxmayraxx90xx. I mean grammatically, you could use some minor indoctrinating, but the point is as solid as it is simple: Britney was very dissatisfied with something. And I think that something was sex.

I mean, just look at all the subtle motifs in the video itself. If you look carefully, you’ll notice that Britney is actually playing the role of Lucky! Does this mean that she herself feels dissatisfied with the fame and the fortune and just wants a lover? I think so. And did you see that look of recognition Lucky gave Britney as she climbed into the limousine after the awards show? Something’s wrong with this picture. Lucky wants out! She’d give up all the fame and fortune just to be herself, that is to say, Britney.

This video is Britney’s plea to society to just let her be her. She wanted to have sex. And so, shortly after the release of this album, she did, and announced publicly that she was no longer a virgin. Gone were the poster child days of bubble gum pop; replacing them – unabashed, outright sexual expression (see: the video for “Toxic”). It was right in front of our eyes, and we all missed the message she was trying to convey, which should fill us all with guilt.

Who knows, if one of us would have spoken up, we might have saved our favorite pop virgin from the impending K-Fed child-having, weight-gaining, disappearing from the public eye debacle that would eventually ensue.

]]> Oops!... I Did It Again, the follow-up to her wildly popular debut album, …Baby One More Time. Apparently at this point in her life, she loved ellipses as much as she did implicit sexuality... (See what I did there?) Heterosexual males: I don’t care who you were, how old you were, or what kind of music surrounded you at the time of these releases, Britney made your stomach feel funny (or your loins, depending on your age). Parents loved her because not only did she sing cute pop music, but she was a shining example to children everywhere for being a proud virgin. Little did they know that we, their children, only loved her so much because we wanted to steal said virginity. But neither parent nor child knew that Britney was struggling with remaining proud about her virginity. But we should have seen the signs of her duress. They were all around. Cue the video for “Lucky”. For those of you who completely missed 1999, or were too lazy to watch the embedded video, “Lucky” is the story of a girl, aptly named “Lucky”, who is dissatisfied with her fame and fortune. She’s got everything in the world, and yet, she feels as though something’s missing. “She’s so lucky, she’s a star, but she cry cry cries with a lonely heart, thinkin’/If there’s nothing missing in my life, then why do these tears come at night?” A tragedy of Shakespearean proportions, truly, and a story within a song worthy of Bruce Springsteen’s Nebraska. But when you really analyze all the nuts and bolts of this fine piece of musicianship, you come to realize that this song might not be about a fictional character “Lucky” at all! Bear with me, here, but I think this song is really an allegorical look at Britney’s own personal life. Or, as youtube user xxmayraxx90xx so eloquently put it, “i think? this song was her really life, but no body get the message...”. Couldn’t have said it better myself, xxmayraxx90xx. I mean grammatically, you could use some minor indoctrinating, but the point is as solid as it is simple: Britney was very dissatisfied with something. And I think that something was sex. I mean, just look at all the subtle motifs in the video itself. If you look carefully, you’ll notice that Britney is actually playing the role of Lucky! Does this mean that she herself feels dissatisfied with the fame and the fortune and just wants a lover? I think so. And did you see that look of recognition Lucky gave Britney as she climbed into the limousine after the awards show? Something’s wrong with this picture. Lucky wants out! She’d give up all the fame and fortune just to be herself, that is to say, Britney. This video is Britney’s plea to society to just let her be her. She wanted to have sex. And so, shortly after the release of this album, she did, and announced publicly that she was no longer a virgin. Gone were the poster child days of bubble gum pop; replacing them - unabashed, outright sexual expression (see: the video for “Toxic”). It was right in front of our eyes, and we all missed the message she was trying to convey, which should fill us all with guilt. Who knows, if one of us would have spoken up, we might have saved our favorite pop virgin from the impending K-Fed child-having, weight-gaining, disappearing from the public eye debacle that would eventually ensue. ]]> http://consequenceofsound.net/2011/01/break-yo-tv-britney-spears-lucky/feed/ 1 http://consequenceofsound.net/2011/01/britneys-back-hear-her-new-single-hold-it-against-me/ http://consequenceofsound.net/2011/01/britneys-back-hear-her-new-single-hold-it-against-me/#comments http://c438342.r42.cf2.rackcdn.com//wp-content/uploads/2011/01/britney-spears-Hold-It-Against-Me.jpg Mon, 10 Jan 2011 14:56:03 +0000 Alex Young http://consequenceofsound.net/?p=95286

Gaga and Katy currently rule the charts, but let us not forget the life and times of 90s pop. Before Christina went indie, Mandy married Ryan, and Britney got a haircut, “Genie in the Bottle” and “Oops!…I Did It Again” were our guilty pleasures. Of course, 2/3 of those aforementioned still remain forces in the industry — believe it or not, Britney’s last album, 2008′s Circus, moved 4 million copies — which brings us to today. Britney’s back. In March, the pop icon will release her yet-to-be-titled seventh album and today, Jive Records offered the first taste of what’s to come in the form of lead single “Hold It Against Me”. Produced by Max Martin and Dr. Luke, the 3:50 track mixes classic Britney with British dubstep elements, though not the kind you James Blake fans are used to. At first listen, it’s not necessarily her strongest effort to date, but it might be her trippiest, and with electrohead Rusko also said to be contributing to the effort, expect to hear that word used quite a bit to describe the new album.

Stream “Hold It Against Me” (via Vulture). Birtney’s LP #7 is due March 2011 via Jive.

Last night, the second episode of the show’s second season focused primarily on Britney Spears. Now, we’ve seen themed episodes before. This started when the creator’s insisted on writing an episode revolving entirely around Lady Gaga, which technically was a brilliant PR move on Gaga’s part, as it bled her music to millions upon millions of fans. You have to remember, despite all the tawdry sexual themes presented, this show is a hit with America’s pre-teen youth. (I actually experienced this first hand, when my girlfriend and I attended the Glee Live performance last May, and thousands of 11-year-old’s were singing Salt-n-Pepa’s “Push It”. Yeah, terrifying.) Ever since the Gaga episode became an overnight hit, hundreds of artists have been championing to be next. Naturally, Britney won.

However, unlike the Gaga expo, last night’s episode just worked. Sure, the songs themselves were pointless. They didn’t offer much of a spin, as say “Don’t Stop Believing” or “Don’t Stand So Close To Me/Young Girl”, but they fit the story. Also, using John Stamos’ dental practice as a gateway to hazy dream scenarios worked wonders. For reference, Stamos joins the show as Dr. Carl Howell, the new love interest to fish-eyes, aka the school’s guidance counselor, Emma Pilsbury. In this episode, he worked on the Glee group’s teeth – particularly Brittany Susan Pierce (S. Pierce, get it?), who brushes her teeth with pop. Gross, right? Yeah. Come to think of it, though, the addition of Stamos throws some much-needed juice and drive into this show. He’s still just as charming as he was 20 something years ago and he just knows how to carry a television show. Mind you, he’s a guest star here, but even the 10 minutes with him make up for some of the horribly bland scripting.

But we’re getting sidetracked. Back to the music. Sheesh.

The Spears tunes worked, namely for story and style. Where it lacked in originality, it made up for it in direction. Watching Rachel Berry recreate “…Baby One More Time” and seeing Brittany show off her dance moves (She’s a professional dancer, having worked with the likes of Beyonce. Pretty big deal.) during the two Britney medleys were fun. Just that. While Artie’s “Stronger” football clip sucked hard, they made up for it with the “Toxic” homecoming performance -  despite wanting to strangle that nerdy student reporter.  However, where the show punched in the music to precision came at the end with Rachel’s dedication to once-again quarterback Finn Hudson. (He was sacked from the team for asking…you know what, forget it.) Singing Paramore’s ballad “The Only Exception”, all of the show’s “romantic conflicts” were tied together, making for one hell of a finish that promises a lot for this season. If the quality remains, and some of that more-original creativity resurfaces again (more mash ups, please), then there may be life to this show beyond over-marketing, after all.

We’ll see how next week fares…

Glee Cast – “I’m a Slave 4 U” (Britney Spears)

Glee Cast – “Me Against the Music” (Britney Spears)

Glee Cast – “…Baby One More Time” (Britney Spears)

Glee Cast – “Stronger” (Britney Spears)

Glee Cast – “Toxic” (Britney Spears)

Glee Cast – “The Only Exception” (Paramore)

Click here to watch the episode.

“Lots of people say they’ve heard dubstep, but they haven’t heard dubstep,” Mercer told LA Weekly, “In the U.K., you can hear it in the afternoon, but here you can’t just turn on the radio and hear dubstep.”

Well, it looks as though his plan to dominate American airwaves in well on its way. This year alone, Mercer, 25, has opened for Major Lazer, thrown down at Coachella, and produced tracks for artists like M.I.A., Rihanna, and T.I.

Now the self-proclaimed “human bass tornado” has been tapped to bring Ms. Britney Spears back into our collective consciousness. The Daily Swarm reports that Mercer and Alex Greggs have begun work on a new album for America’s version of the troubled pop princess.

While no details have emerged, top 40 radio may become something more than a guilty pleasure if On-Air with Ryan Seacrest starts playing anything even closely resembling “Woo Boost”.

While Mercer will be at the helm, don’t expect him to be in any new Britney videos. He’s made it very clear that his focus is on the sound coming out of the speakers.

“They approach me because they want me to do what I do. They don’t want me to make a cheesy pop record,” he said, “It’s simple. What you see is what you get. The music.”

You can see what all the fuss about on Rusko’s tour (tickets for select dates are available on Ticketmaster.com) or check out the video for “Woo Boost” below.

Rusko 2010 Tour Dates:
05/14 – London, UK @ Fabric
05/15 – Brussels, BE @ Nuits Botanique
05/19 – Brighton, UK @ Audio
05/20 – Bedford, UK @ The Pad
05/21 – København, DK @ Pumphuset
05/22 – Huddersfield, UK @ Bates Mill
05/24 – Edinburgh, UK @ Cabaret Volataire
05/27 – Cardiff, UK @ Clwb Ifor Bach
05/28 – Aberdeen, UK @ Hush Hush
05/29 – Leeds, UK @ Stylus
05/30 – Newcastle, UK @ Evolution Festival
06/05 – Baltimore, MD @ Starscape Festival
06/19 – Austin, TX @ Apache Pass Event Center & Grounds
06/25 – Glastonbury, UK @ West Dance
06/30 – Ibiza, ES @ Eden
07/15 – Kansas City, MO @ Mosaic
07/16 – Denver, CO @ Global Dance Festival
07/17 – Mariaville, NY @ Camp Bisco Festival
07/24 – San Bernadino, CA @ Audiotistic Festival
08/06 - Oakland, CA @ Fox Theater *
08/07 – Chicago, IL @ Lollapalooza
08/14 - Toronto, ON @ Koolhaus *
08/15 - Montreal, QC @ Metropolis *
08/17 - Boston, MA @ House of Blues *
08/18 - Philadelphia, PA @ Electric Factory *
08/28 – Liverpool, UK @ Creamfields Festival
09/04 – Ney York, NY @ Electric Zoo Festival

* = Hard Summer Tour w/ Crystal Castles

She’s been with me since 1999, bouncing onto the scene with her repressed sexuality and teasing strut. That’s right, folks, I’m speaking of the one and only Britney Spears. I think I love her. Musically, of course. As a rule, I always do my best to separate art from the artist and she is no exception.

Please, don’t judge me. Her influence alone is enough to give her a chance. Even the indiest of the indie know who she is — and I know a few people who conspicuously don’t change the station when “Toxic” comes on. Just remember girls, if your boyfriend jumps a little when you grab at his Ipod, you might want to check under the “B’s” — there’s probably a dirty little secret lying there.

Yes, I know she doesn’t write all her songs. Yes, I am aware she is but a figurehead fronting a giant, money-making empire. But say what you want; when it comes to pop music, she’s got it. I reel at the genius of “If You Seek Amy”, I spin in glittery circles whenever I hear “E-mail My Heart”, I start bouncing up and down uncontrollably when I hear “Womanizer”. As I drive my car, I will slowly and discretely roll my windows up while I stoically recite “…Baby One More Time” (When I played an assortment of cover songs at a bar in college, that one brought the house down!). Listen to my (guilty) pleasure and you can hear the forefront of pop. Ms. Spears does it, people copy it. Mandy Moore did, Christina Aguilera did, and now there’s Katie Perry and Lady Gaga – auto-tuned, multi-layered vocals sang over hard-hitting synths and electro dancehall beats — tell me I’m lyin’!

Despite this tried and true fact about her, I’ll be the first person to admit that I become a little bit dumber every time I listen. Had I never been introduced to the mind numbing sex-pot, you better believe I’d be an astrophysicist solving issues involving string theory. Afterward, I’d take a puff from a pipe full of fine Indian tobacco I was given after I had rescued an entire village from terrorists high up in the Himalayas with The Most Interesting Man Alive. (FYI, The Most Interesting Man Alive has a Britney ringtone on his new 3GS, I’m told.)

I’m just hoping that one day blonde hair doesn’t start sprouting from my scalp: I’m very happy with my decidedly curly brunette locks. Although if for some reason I start getting tan without sunlight, updating my Facebook page with quotes like, “There’s only two types of guys out there…” and randomly tell people that my life is like a circus, please tie me to a skateboard and roll me in the direction of the nearest 100 foot drop — trust me, it’ll be necessary and for my own good.

Don’t lie either folks, as we walk down the streets with our white ear buds hanging nonchalantly out of our ears, pretending that we are, indeed, a “Womanizer”, and that yes, “It’s [insert own name here], bitch.” We want to dance, but society says no! Speaking of dancing, maybe we might even fantasize that we were a certain guy dancing our way into Ms. Spears bedroom…

So when we see each other on the Blue Line, Starbucks in hand, maybe we could give a little pinkie wiggle, just to say, you know, symbolically, that we’re there for each other, and that, like, we’ve totally called her hotline.

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The Roots:
Jimmy Fallon’s personal house band, The Roots, are reportedly gearing up for the release of a new album, Billboard reports. Entitled How I Got Over, the followup to last year’s Rising Down is due out in October via Def Jam Records. Question: When do these guys take breaks?

Dark Night of the Soul:
The New York Times has all the juicy details on what’s preventing the release of the non-blank CDR version of Dark Night of the Soul. Apparently, the whole issue relates to Danger Mouse’s current contract with Lex Records and some licensing issues with EMI.

Last.fm:
In a blog entry posted last week, Last.fm Felix, RJ and Martin announced they were leaving the company and would be handing over all power to CBS (via Daily Swarm). We’re guessing the whole sharing user data debacle had something to do with it…

Britney Spears:
Here’s something to get excited about: Britney Spears has announced plans for another North American leg of her Circus tour. You know, the one supporting that album we kind of liked that has fans jumping on stage…

The Slits:
On October 6th, The Slits will celebrate their first new album in 25 years with the release of Trapped Animal. The 14-track effort will feature the talents  original members Ari Up and Tessa Pollitt along with Hollie Cook (daughter of Sex Pistols drummer Paul Cook), Anna Schlute and Adele Wilson. In addition to the new album, a book about the band, Typical Girls? The Story Of The Slits written by Zoe Street Howe, is scheduled to be published in the Fall.

Brand New:
In anticipation of the release of its next studio album, which is tentatively scheduled for release this fall, Brand New has announced plans for a nine-date U.S. tour during the month of July.

TV on the Radio:
A remix of Gang Gang Dance’s “First Communion” created by TV on the Radio surfaced last week. It proved to be a big deal. Stereogum has all the necessary details.

Warp Records:
This year, Warp Records, aka the home of such acts as Grizzly Bear, Aphex Twin, and Jamie Lidell, will be commemorate its 20th anniversary with the release of a five-disc, five 10″ records, and a 192-page book box set aptly titled Warp20. Head to Pitchfork for the info.

STS9:
Looking for a collection of brand new STS9 remixes? Well, come June 23rd, you’ll be on luck. On that day, 1320 Records will release Peaceblaster: The New Orleans Make It Right Remixes, a 30-track effort featuring remixes by the likes of Telepath, Count Bass D, Richard Devine, Alex B., Ronald Jenkees. As an added bonus, 100 percent of the album’s proceeds will benefit the New Orleans Make It Right Foundation.

Circus is one of those albums that caters to a certain nostalgic audience, and that is not to say anything bad. It can be lumped into two categories, namely dance and pop. Unlike Spears’ previous release, this is not merely a club album; instead, it has the “swagger of a champion” hinted at in the first single. Firsthand analysis?She most definitely succeeded, especially with her original (and now much older) fans.

Hype for Circus started as soon as the single was buzzing about the net, and NBC premiered the music video around the watershed hour to avoid the prying eyes of children. Considering the steam room hi jinks, this is hardly surprising, but aside from the obvious flaunting of her body, Spears’ hit a home run with “Womanizer”. It’s addicting and sticky sweet like any good dance or pop song should be without trying so hard with electronic distortion per Blackout.

There is very little press slamming on Circus, leading one to believe that Spears’ last release was her “angry” album to take vengeance out upon media outlets who held her antics up to the spotlight. This one is more or less straightforward juicy pop for the millennium, and she holds her own, despite any doubts beforehand.  Songs like “Out From Under” hearken back to her “Hit Me Baby” days while infusing modern R&B in brilliant dosage, while “If You Seek Amy” uses semi-clever wordplay to cover the title’s true definition.

The album’s title track, “Circus”, comes off as a bit lackluster compared to the hype posted prior to release. My theory is that if your album has a title track, name it for one of your better singles or better songs.  “Circus” seems too slow to define a true circus or even a decent house party. While this is only one strike, to some it is a major one. All hope is restored however, in the slow rave heatseeker “Unusual You” with a simple heartbeat rhythm and tasty vocals.

All in all, Spears appears to have stopped to breathe on her roller coaster life and managed putting out a decent record. Whether it was a break with family back home in the south or just simply the reality check that the VMA’s critical response lent, one thing is clear: BS deals with little BS with this recording. While some songs like “Kill The Lights” and “Blur” come off as slightly cheesy, “Mmm Papi” and “My Baby”, with the aide of surfer music infusions and reflections on motherhood respectively, seem to add an organic flavor to her overall product.

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t the best release all year by a pop artist and it’s probably not going to bullet to the top of the charts, but let us face facts – Britney Spears has not sounded this good since the late ’90′s. In a genre saturated with R&B, this is a welcoming installment in the Spears saga and in the essence of former pop stars getting that one last shot at redemption. As they say at the big top, “Welcome the ringleader!” and thank your lucky stars N*Sync isn’t in synch and Backstreet ain’t back. Hopefully, NKOTB will take a hint – the world isn’t into boys right now, they want the school girl!

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