Every few years, “Weird Al” Yanokvic graces us with another of his parody-laden albums, tweaking songs we’ve all become familiar with over the radio into things only his goofy little mind could come up with. And each one of those records he puts out contains a polka medley that tosses together a collection of big, random tracks from recent memory.

With Alpocalypse dropping June 21st, we get a new polka medley in “Polka Face”, this one also apparently inspired in-part by the Muse that is Lady Gaga. Though he’s been perfecting it live for a few months, thanks to Stereogum, you can check out the album version below, along with a breakdown of each included song. Behold, the power of a mighty polka.

Alpocalypse hits stores June 21st via Jive.

“Polka Face” Song List:
(“Liechtensteiner Polka” by Will Glahé)
“Poker Face” by Lady Gaga
“Womanizer” by Britney Spears
“Right Round” by Flo Rida
“Day ‘n’ Nite” by Kid Cudi
“Need You Now” by Lady Antebellum
“Baby” by Justin Bieber
“So What” by Pink
“I Kissed A Girl” by Katy Perry
“Fireflies” by Owl City
“Blame It” by Jamie Foxx
“Replay” by Iyaz
“Down” by Jay Sean
“Break Your Heart” by Taio Cruz
(“The Tick Tock Polka” by Frankie Yankovic)
“Tik Tok” by Ke$ha
(“Poker Face (Reprise)” by Lady Gaga)
(“Whatever’s Left Over Polka” by “Weird Al” Yankovic)

This just happened: Arcade Fire’s The Suburbs won Album of the Year at the 53rd Annual Grammys.

We’re still in shock, mostly because Lady Antebellum won everything else and Win Butler’s crew were denied the more minor, Alternative Album of the Year. But yeah, it did happen, and well, sometimes you just have to let Kanye do the talking: “#Arcade fire!!!!!!!!!! There is hope!!! I feel like we all won when something like this happens! FUCKING AWESOME!”

Other notable winners included The Black Keys, who beat out Arcade Fire for both Alternative Album of the Year and Best Rock Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals. The White Stripes (R.I.P.) were denied Best Long Form Music Video, but their Under Great White Northern Lights documentary did take home Best Boxed Or Special Limited Edition Package. Also, Neil Young won his second-ever Grammy for “Best Rock Song”, Them Crooked Vultures scored “Best Hard Rock Performance”, and Danger Mouse earned Best Producer.

Below, you can find all the noteworthy winners (they’re in bold).

Record of the Year

Lady Antebellum – “Need You Now”

B.o.B. ft. Bruno Mars – “Nothin’ On You”

Eminem ft. Rihanna – “Love The Way You Lie”

Cee-Lo Green – “Fuck You”

Jay-Z ft. Alicia Keys – “Empire State Of Mind”

Album of the Year

Arcade Fire – The Suburbs

Eminem – Recovery

Lady Antebellum – Need You Now

Lady Gaga – The Fame Monster

Katy Perry – Teenage Dream

Song of the Year

Lady Antebellum – “Need You Now”

Ray Lamontagne – “Beg Steal Or Borrow”

Cee-Lo Green – “Fuck You”

Eminem ft. Rihanna – “Love The Way You Lie”

Miranda Lambert – “The House That Built Me”

Best New Artist

Esperanza Spalding

Justin Bieber

Drake

Florence and the Machine

Mumford & Sons

Best Electronic/Dance Album

La Roux – La Roux

BT – These Hopeful Machines

The Chemical Brothers – Further

Goldfrapp – Head First

Groove Armada – Black Light

Best Rock Song

Neil Young – “Angry World”

Mumford & Sons – “Little Lion Man”

Kings of Leon – “Radioactive”

Muse – “Resistance”

The Black Keys – “Tighten Up”

Best Hard Rock Performance

Them Crooked Vultures – “New Fang”

Alice in Chains – “A Looking In View”

Ozzy Osbourne – “Let Me Hear You Scream”

Soundgarden – “Black Rain”

Stone Temple Pilots – “Between The Lines”

Best Alternative Album

The Black Keys – Brothers

Arcade Fire – The Suburbs

Band of Horses – Infinite Arms

Broken Bells – Broken Bells

Vampire Weekend – Contra

Best Rock Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals

The Black Keys – “Tighten Up”

Arcade Fire – “Ready to Start”

Jeff Beck & Joss Stone – “I Put a Spell on You”

Kings Of Leon – “Radioactive”

Muse – “Resistance”

Best Rock Album

Muse – The Resistance

Jeff Beck – Emotion & Commotion

Pearl Jam – Backspacer

Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers – Mojo

Neil Young – Le Noise

Best R&B Album

John Legend & The Roots – Wake Up!

Raheem DeVaughn – The Love & War Masterpeace

Fantasia – Back to Me

Jaheim – Another Round

Monica – Still Standing

Best Rap Song

Jay-Z ft. Alicia Keys – “Empire State Of Mind”

Eminem ft. Rihanna – “Love The Way You Lie”

Eminem – “Not Afraid”

B.o.B. ft. Bruno Mars – “Nothin’ On You”

Jay-Z & Swizz Beatz – “On To The Next One”

Best Rap Album

Eminem – Recovery

B.o.B. – The Adventures Of Bobby Ray

Drake – Thank Me Later

Jay-Z – The Blueprint 3

The Roots – How I Got Over

Best Spoken Word Album

Jon Stewart - The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Presents Earth

Craig Ferguson – American On Purpose

Sarah Silverman – The Bedwetter

Michael J. Fox – A Funny Thing Happened On the Way To The Future…

Carol Burnett – This Time Together: Laughter And Reflection

Best Comedy Album

Lewis Black – Stark Raving Black

Margaret Cho – Cho Dependent

Flight Of The Conchords – I Told You I Was Freaky

Kathy Griffin – Kathy Griffin Does The Bible Belt

Robin Williams – Weapons Of Self Destruction

Best Recording Package

The Black Keys – Brothers

Oh No Ono – Eggs

Anaïs Mitchell – Hadestown

Devendra Banhart – What Will We Be

Chip Taylor – Yonkers NY

Best Boxed Or Special Limited Edition Package

The White Stripes – Under Great White Northern Lights

Pixies – Minotaur

Various Artists – Story Island

Various Artists – Light: On The South Side

Voormann & Friends – A Sideman’s Journey

Producer of the Year

Danger Mouse (Broken Bells, (The Black Keys)

Rob Cavallo (Paramore)

Dr. Luke (Ke$ha)

RedOne (Lady Gaga)

The Smeezingtons (Cee-Lo, Bruno Mars)

Best Short Form Music Video

Lady Gaga – “Bad Romance”

The Johnny Cash Project – “Ain’t No Grave”

Gorillaz – “Stylo”

Cee-Lo – “Fuck You”

Eminem & Rihanna – “Love The Way You Lie”

Best Long Form Music Video

The Doors – When You’re Strange

Blur – No Distance Left To Run

Rush – Rush: Beyond The Lighted Stage

Arif Mardin – The Greatest Ears In Town: The Arif Mardin Story

The White Stripes – Under Great White Northern Lights

Those of us who somehow managed to survive the Super Bowl XLV halftime show had a few options once the game wrapped up. Some of us cheered and partied. Some of us rioted. Some of us shrugged and shut off the TV, satisfied with their “I watch it for the commercials” routine. As for those of us who left the channel on, we’d fall into one of two groups: too lazy to switch the channel, or waiting impatiently for the new episode of Glee to start. Because, of course, there’s no better follow-up to a football game than the trials and tribulations of a high school glee club.

I tease good naturedly, though, because I’m going to say this outright: I loved yesterday’s episode of Glee. The actual musical performances were hit or miss, but the plot, character development, and everything else that makes up what a show is were all in incredibly strong form.

You might not have guessed it all from the opening of the episode. In order to try to keep male viewers of the Super Bowl onboard with the show, if they’d never seen it before, they decided to open up with a Cheerios performance of… Katy Perry‘s “California Gurls”. Right. It wasn’t a cover of the song, but rather just elaborate choreography with fire, hula hoops, and bicycles doing stunts off of ramps. I’m going to go with exactly what Sue said after said performance: “I’m bored.” Fire, stunts, and fireworks shooting out of boob cones do not a good show make.

After some massive scuffles, it’s decided that the rest of the football team will be forced to join the glee club for the week leading up to the championship game. Trying to win them over, Puck and Rachel proceed to break into Lady Antebellum‘s “Need You Now”, aka the most overplayed country song on pop radio. I’m not sure how that song was supposed to bring the jocks onto their side, but as a purely musical performance, I rather liked it more than the original.

It’s decided once Sue pitches perhaps the most entertaining ragefit in recent television history that the club will be performing a mash-up of Michael Jackson‘s “Thriller” and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs‘ “Heads Will Roll” for the football game’s halftime show. Once all done up in their zombie makeup, the boys of the group proceed to perform “She’s Not There” by…wait for it…wait for it…The Zombies. How terribly clever. Though the choreography was more than odd (I never quite pictured shambling around when I’d heard this song), Cory Monteith’s vocals were actually pretty damn good, for once not sounding like they’ve been incredibly auto-tuned.

The episode’s missing something so far, though. Oh, right! Blaine and Kurt! The scene suddenly cuts to Dalton Academy, where the Warblers perform an a capella version of Destiny Child‘s “Bills, Bills, Bills”. The performance was completely out of nowhere, likely shoehorned in at the last minute, but it didn’t stop it from being one of the best ones of the episode. That was how the show should have started; to hell with keeping the male football viewers, they weren’t going to watch Glee anyway. I’ll admit, I have a weak spot for a capella (and for Blaine and Kurt, eheh), but the fact that I’ve had their cover on repeat for about an hour now despite never wanting to listen to the original says enough.

The final performance of the episode is the one we were waiting for most: the mash-up of “Thriller” and “Heads Will Roll”. I know that I’m going to be putting myself on a limb here, but I’m going to say it anyway. I adored it. I had my reservations about how well the songs actually went with each other at the start of it, but the more they got through the song, the fonder I grew of it. I didn’t expect “Heads Will Roll” to work so well as backing, but it managed to inject an extra dose of energy into the song. Yes, not exactly what you’re thinking for zombies, but it just…worked.

All in all, despite the failed pandering to football fans at the start of the episode, this was a strong come-back for Glee after the winter hiatus. I mean, hell, I’d call it a 11/10 episode purely based on the scene of Sue flipping her shit while “O Fortuna” played in the background. The musical performances were mostly enjoyable, but I think the plot is where it shined most tonight (aside from a “oh god here we go again” moment at the very end). Did it manage to capture a new audience of viewers left over from the Super Bowl? I really doubt it. However, if they did manage to stick in for the whole episode, at least they were treated to a halftime performance about infinity times better than the one at the Super Bowl.

Glee Cast – “Need You Now” (Lady Antebellum)

Glee Cast – “She’s Not There” (The Zombies)

Glee Cast – “Bills, Bills, Bills” (Destiny’s Child)

Glee Cast – “Thriller/Heads Will Roll” (Michael Jackson/Yeah Yeah Yeahs)

Images via AceShowBiz/Antiquiet

Every February, the music world turns its head to Los Angles, CA for the annual Grammy Awards. Music’s most elite get themselves all dolled up, walk the red carpet, and eagerly await to see if fate has shined on them and given them that golden gramophone and all that accolades that accompany a well-deserved win. Fans from far and wide make it a point to obsessively watch the event, blogging live results, and celebrating the wins of their most beloved artists.

And then the next day everyone forgets everything that happened and we go on happily with our lives.

Despite their status as the premiere award for musicians and those in the music industry, the Grammys are, for all intents and purposes, worthless. It has nothing to do with hegemonic voting committee or the lack of diversity in the nominee’s pool (sure, we will believe Taylor Swift had the best album of 2010. Yeah yeah. Bob’s your uncle.) Instead, it’s the fact that the art of celebrating artists with a gold statue is a rather antiquated model, especially when we can join their mailing list, follow them on Twitter, buy merch literally 24-7-365 on their site, or even help finance their new album.

But like we catch some kind of horrid fever each year, the whole thing starts anew with the Grammy Nominations Concert. Hosted this year by LL Cool J, it’s the first phase in what is a long, drawn-out process where we seemingly always know what will happen, are never surprised, and still begrudgingly enjoy every moment of it. Perhaps it’s instinct; maybe the need for comfort. It could even be that every one of us is a glutton for punishment. Either way, you’ve probably skipped ahead to just get to the nominees. Hey, don’t worry about it; we’re right there with ya.

Oh, and yes, Arcade Fire and Justin Bieber can finally appear in a headline together!

The Grammy Awards take place February 13, 2011 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on CBS.

Record of the Year

B.o.B. ft. Bruno Mars – “Nothin’ On You”

Eminem ft. Rihanna – “Love The Way You Lie”

Cee-Lo Green – “Fuck You”

Jay-Z ft. Alicia Keys – “Empire State Of Mind”

Lady Antebellum – “Need You Now”

Album of the Year

Arcade Fire – The Suburbs

Eminem – Recovery

Lady Antebellum – Need You Now

Lady Gaga – The Fame Monster

Katy Perry – Teenage Dream

Song of the Year

Ray Lamontagne – “Beg Steal Or Borrow”

Cee-Lo Green – “Fuck You”

Lady Antebellum – “Need You Now”

Eminem ft. Rihanna – “Love The Way You Lie”

Miranda Lambert – “The House That Built Me”

Best New Artist

Justin Bieber

Drake

Florence and the Machine

Mumford & Sons

Esperanza Spalding

Best Rock Song

Neil Young – “Angry World”

Mumford & Sons – “Little Lion Man”

Kings of Leon – “Radioactive”

Muse – “Resistance”

The Black Keys – “Tighten Up”

Best Alternative Album

Arcade Fire – The Suburbs

Band of Horses – Infinite Arms

The Black Keys – Brothers

Broken Bells – Broken Bells

Vampire Weekend – Contra

Best Rap Song

Jay-Z ft. Alicia Keys – “Empire State Of Mind”

Eminem ft. Rihanna – “Love The Way You Lie”

Eminem – “Not Afraid”

B.o.B. ft. Bruno Mars – “Nothin’ On You”

Jay-Z & Swizz Beatz – “On To The Next One”

Best Rap Album

B.o.B. – The Adventures Of Bobby Ray

Drake – Thank Me Later

Eminem – Recovery

Jay-Z – The Blueprint 3

The Roots – How I Got Over

The tour, which of course will be in support of the October 20th release of McGraw’s s 10th studio album, Southern Voices, will kick off on February 11th, 2010 in Omaha, Nebraska, wind its way through the U.S. and Canada, and end triumphantly in Virginia Beach, Virginia on August 15th. Joining McGraw on tour will be rising country trio Lady Antebellum and The Lost Trailers until April 11th, at which point Love And Theft take the opening act spot.

As an added bonus, the tour will also raise money for the The Neighbor’s Keeper Fund of the Community Foundation of Middle Tennessee, which McGraw and wife Faith Hill started in 2004. The organization focuses on developing relationships between neighbors and to encourage childhood initiatives in areas of need.

But before the show hits the road, McGraw will keep himself busy with a host of end-of-the-year TV appearances. He’ll appear on The Jay Leno Show on October 27th with legendary rocker Gregg Allman to perform Southern Voice and then play The Ellen DeGeneres Show on October 29th. Then, on November 11th, CMT will air Invitation Only: Tim McGraw, where he’ll perform for an intimate audience and take questions.

Tickets for the dates go on sale soon at Ticketmaster.com.

Tim McGraw 2010 Tour Dates:
02/11 – Omaha, NE @ Qwest Center *
02/12 – Madison, WI @ Alliant Energy Center *
02/13 – Des Moines, IA @ Wells Fargo Arena *
02/19 – Roanoke, VA @ Roanoke Civic Center *
02/20 – Huntington, WV @ Big Sandy Superstore Arena *
02/21 – Reading, PA @ Sovereign Center Arena *
02/25 – Columbia, MO @ Mizzou Arena *
02/26 – Lexington, KY @ Rupp Arena *
03/25 – Vancouver, British Columbia @ General Motors Place *
03/27 – Calgary, Alberta @ Pengrowth Saddledome *
03/28 – Saskatoon, Saskatchewan *
03/30 – Winnipeg, Manitoba @ MTS Centre *
04/08 – Tulsa, OK @ BOK Center *
04/09 – Little Rock, AR @ Verizon Arena *
04/10 – New Orleans, LA @ New Orleans Arena *
04/11 – Orange Beach, AL @ Amphitheatre at the Wharf #
04/23 – Columbus, OH @ Nationwide Arena #
04/24 – Detroit, MI @ The Palace #
05/06 – Jacksonville, FL @ Jacksonville Arena #
05/07 – Tampa, FL @ Ford Amphitheatre #
05/08 – West Palm Beach, FL @ Cruzan Amphitheatre #
05/14 – Birmingham, AL @ Verizon Wireless Music Center #
05/15 – Atlanta, GA @ Lakewood Amphitheatre #
05/20 – Spokane, WA @ Spokane Arena #
05/21 – Seattle, WA @ Tacoma Dome #
05/22 – Portland, OR @ Rose Garden #
05/25 – Fresno, CA @ Save Mart Center #
05/28 – Sacramento, CA @ Sleep Train Pavilion #
05/29 – Mountain View, CA @ Shoreline Amphitheatre #
06/02 – Albuquerque, NM @ Journal Pavilion #
06/03 – Phoenix, AZ @ Cricket Pavilion #
06/04 – San Diego, CA @ Cricket Wireless Amphitheatre #
06/05 – San Bernardino, CA @ San Manuel Amphitheatre #
06/11 – Wichita, KS @ InTrust Bank Arena #
06/12 – Dallas, TX @ Superpages.com Center #
06/17 – Cleveland, OH @ Blossom Music Center #
06/19 – Chicago, IL @ First Midwest Bank Amphitheatre #
06/26 – Maryland Heights, MO @ Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre #
06/27 – Kansas City, MO @ Sprint Center #
07/08 – Pittsburgh, PA @ Post Gazette Pavilion #
07/09 – Camden, NJ @ Susquehanna Bank Center #
07/10 – Bristow, VA @ Nissan Pavilion at Stone Ridge #
07/15 – Holmdel, NJ @ PNC Bank Arts Center #
07/16 – Hartford, CT @ Comcast Theatre #
07/17 – Mansfield, MA @ Comcast Center #
07/29 – Boise, ID @ Idaho Center #
07/30 – Salt Lake City, UT @ USANA Amphitheatre #
07/31 – Englewood, CO @ Fiddler’s Green Amphitheatre #
08/05 – Cincinnati, OH @ Riverbend Music Center #
08/06 – Darien Center, NY @ Darien Lakes Performing Arts Center #
08/07 – Toronto, ON @ Molson Amphitheatre #
08/13 – Charlotte, NC @ Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre #
08/14 – Raleigh, NC @ Time Warner Cable Music Pavilion #
08/15 – Virginia Beach, VA @ Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre #

* = w/ Lady Antebellum and The Lost Trailers
# = w/ Lady Antebellum and Love And Theft

I have always been one to shun the lack of originality in a country scene dominated by purely pop crossovers (ala Shania Twain).  It might be too soon to speak for this particular act, but as it currently stands, one can admire Lady Antebellum for a few things.

As you pass through the first track on their eponymous debut – the first single, “Love Don’t Live Here” – you see exactly what this genre has been lacking with a song titled, “Just Lookin’ For A Good Time”. Lyrics tell the tale of something that has become both taboo and commonplace in the world of today’s blogger and barhopper…a one night stand.

Normally, the only side of such a topic gets told in some demeaning light, whereas in this story, you see a logical adult situation that is more a case of life imitating art than your average ‘country love ballad’. As we mention ‘love ballad’, you get the next song, “All We’d Ever Need”, where we get a perfectly played-out duet that could be compared to the likes of Faith Hill and Tim McGraw without the unneeded press coverage or over-dramatized vocals.

“Long Gone” brings our female performer Scottto the fore-front Sugarland style, but sounding less nasal and more invigorated, though this spectacular crooning is almost neglected being set next to “I Run To You” – your stereotypical pop-country duet that lacks Lady Antebellum’s signature stand-out feel. They are indeed luckily redeemed with “Love’s Lookin’ Good On You”, however – an upbeat country jam that pops like a fire cracker with spontaneity.

As we go further down the line, “Home Is Where The Heart Is” appears to be quite the throwaway, while “Things People Say” is classic country with passionate melancholy seeping through, and “Slow Down Sister” is swinging and adds a slight alternative rock tinge with it’s crackled radio intro and it’s 90s feel (albeit seemingly inspired by Billy Ray Cyrus).

“Can’t Take My Eyes Off You” is absolutely the best song on Lady Antebellum, with a distinctly emotional, yet not too trite sound, as you sense the ghost of Lorrie Morgan in the background.

As always, we’re left with our all-important closer.

I want to state quickly why I put so much emphasis on a ‘closer’ in this particular piece.  In every good album, three things always make me smile – a proper balance of lyrics and music in each song, the arrangement of tracks themselves to showcase better material while complimenting the less penetrating orchestrations, and (especially with debut or concept albums) a fitting set of bookend songs.

Bookends both set and demolish the overall tone of a record, just as say – the designing of credits in a really good film (i.e., the opening sequence of The Dark Knight or Spiderman).  In the case of a debut album, it sets the stage for both an outstanding performance in studio, and lets the whole world know about your personality/personalities.

Here we see your typical opening songs being their first two singles, but as we hit the closing piece titled “One Day You Will”, we see a truly positive song that – unlike most country tunes in optimistic fashion – does not come off preachy or overly epic.  It shows the world that they want to be a thriving force in their respective musical category, as well as in pop radio, without wanting to be just another one hit wonder.

It should be noted that two of the three members of Lady are closely related to other performers – Kelley, the brother of pop artist Josh Kelley, and Scott the daughter of 90s country singer Linda Davis.  Don’t be fooled by this supposed Brian Wilson formula of fame – they hold their own nicely.

Lady Antebellum is for those of you who have tired of Sugarland or Taylor Swift’s dominating presence due to some misplace notion that we can all be ‘good little boys and girls’.  You want a group who dares to defy traditional country stigma?  Three are highly recommended – Dixie Chicks, Nickel Creek, and Lady Antebellum.

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