KISS Him Cologne
In an ideal world, nobody has ever wanted to smell like KISS. But, that utopia is galaxies away and worlds apart, leaving us, instead, at the mercy of carbon emissions and the not-so-subtle fragrances of Gene Simmons & Co. Back in 2006, the well-endowed bassist (at least in the mouth) unveiled the band’s unlikely (?) cash grab, and rockists haven’t smelled the same since. Here’s hoping the majority of Earth is allergic to one of the following: bergamot fir, balsam, black cumin, white pepper, moss, sandalwood, and anise. What’s even scarier? There’s a woman’s perfume, too. –Michael Roffman
Creep Factor: 7.3/10
Perfect for: The guy working multiple late-night shifts in need of a party.
Gift wrap? Hey, why not. Say it’s from Doctor Love while you’re at it.