Look, we know KISS has stuck their painted faces on just about everything, including Hello Kitty, but this has to take the proverbial cake. Crazier still, there are two different, 20-guage steel options: a standard all black model with the classic four faces logo, and a deluxe model plastered in graphics and flames. There’s even an urn, so your loved ones can remember your insane fandom even in death. –Ben Kaye
Creep Factor: 11/10
Perfect for: Based on current life-expectancy statistics, the band themselves might want to consider placing their orders. Or the guy who has the exact same logo on the casket tattooed on his chest.
Gift wrap? In six feet of dirt.