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California man sues Jay Z, Kanye West, and Beyoncé for $2.4 billion

on May 01, 2014, 5:32pm

In case you hadn’t heard, Jay Z, Kanye West, and Beyoncé are part of the Illuminati — along with President Obama, Oprah, and the Pope. This secretive group is responsible for ending Dave Chappelle’s career, assassinations, currency manipulation, ruling the free world, et. al. But one brave sole from California has stepped up to the plate and is ready to expose this organization once and for all. And no, it’s not Tony Stark.

As Complex points out, California State Prison inmate Richard Dupree has filed a $2.4 billion — yes, billion — lawsuit against Jay Z, Kanye, and Beyoncé, as well as Chris Brown and Rihanna, alleging that they’ve been working with the C.I.A., F.B.I., and Department of Homeland Security to steal song lyrics he’s been writing in prison. Lyrics for 3,000 songs, to be exact.

Dupree says the group “robbed [him] for hundreds of millions, even billions, in the satellite organization.” In addition to the $2.4 billion dollar payout, Dupree demands that he be released from prison immediately.

We’ll have round-the-clock coverage of this case, including live reporting from inside the courthouse. Stay tuned. That is, unless the Illuminati kills us first.