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Eugene Mirman’s new comedy album is batshit crazy

on September 10, 2015, 1:15pm

Eugene Mirman has a new comedy album coming out on October 30th via Sub Pop, and it’s possibly nothing like you’ve heard before.

The mammoth I’m Sorry (You’re Welcome) spans a whopping nine volumes, seven LPs, and 500 tracks. It includes a full stand-up set recorded in Seattle last summer. Perhaps most importantly, the collection boasts an LP of Mirman crying for 45 minutes; an LP containing 195 orgasms; and an “introduction to spoken Russian” as “taught by someone who left Russia at the age of 4.” As I said, you probably have nothing like this in your vinyl collection. Pre-orders have begun.

A press release elaborates:

In addition to Mirman’s brilliant stand-up performance at Seattle’s Columbia City Theater in June 2014, the collection includes more than 500 tracks featuring: a guided meditation for various body parts; an erotic new age “Fuckscape” for sexing to; a comprehensive sound effects library, voiced by Mirman, including everything from “rain” to “zoo with nothing to lose”; an aural pharmacy of “digital drugs” from marijuana to apple cider vinegar; over 45 real minutes of real crying; an introduction to possibly useful Russian phrases; ringtones and outgoing voicemail messages for your personal use; and 195 consecutive orgasms. It is, as comedian Daniel Kitson writes in the set’s liner notes, “a parade of excellence punctuated with benevolent explosions of the purist, uncut, nonsense.”

And in case you were wondering whether the Flight of the Conchords actor’s weeps were a mere studio trick, Mirman explains, saying, “Since so much of what I wanted to do seemed sort of simple, I bought a moderately good podcasting microphone and actually recorded myself crying for 45 minutes on a sun porch in Cape Cod. A lot of people ask me if the crying is looped, which it is not. I cried for 45 minutes.”

Below, find a trailer for I’m Sorry, followed by the artwork and a summary of each included LP.

I’m Sorry (You’re Welcome) Artwork:

eugene mirman i'm sorry you're welcome

I’m Sorry (You’re Welcome) Tracklist:

LP1 – Live In Seattle At The Columbia City Theater
Good-humored noticings from America’s “Master of the Noticing!”

LP 2A – A Guided Meditation For The Thoughtful Body
A calming meditation to cheer and sooth the cluttered mind, the injured heart and the anxious body

LP 2B – Fuckscape
An erotic soundscape for lovebirds and adventurous friends

LP 3 – Eugene’s Comprehensive Sound Effects Library
Tremendous, mouth-made sound effects for amateur and professional foley artists alike

LP 4 – Digital Drugs
A binaural acoustic pharmacy for the carefree or ill

LP 5 – Over 45 Minutes of Crying
A full-hearted 45-minute cry-a-thon

LP 6A – Introduction To Spoken Russian
The language of Pushkin as taught by someone who left
Russia at the age of 4

LP 6B – Ringtones & Outgoing Voicemail Messages
For Your Personal Use
Turn every phone call you miss or receive into a
thousand-million smiles

LP7 – 195 Orgasms
Sorry.

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