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Ugh, Christopher Nolan’s Memento is being remade for some reason

on November 16, 2015, 2:50pm

Fifteen years ago, Christopher Nolan made a name for himself in Hollywood with the mind-shattering neo-noir thriller Memento. Starring Guy Pearce, Carrie-Anne Moss, and Joe Pantoliano, the hip indie film inspired countless filmmakers, received Oscar nominations for Editing and Screenplay, and has since been named one of the most essential films of the aughts.

So, it makes absolutely total sense to remake it … Wait, what?

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Andrea Iervolino and Monika Bacardi’s AMBI Pictures has plans to do just that with the film as part of their recent acquisition of Exclusive Media Group’s library.

In an effort to save face, and avoid the wrath of the Internet, Bacardi released a statement, which reads:

Memento is a masterpiece that leaves audiences guessing not just throughout the film, but long after as well, which is a testament to its daring approach. We intend to stay true to Christopher Nolan’s vision and deliver a memorable movie that is every bit as edgy, iconic and award-worthy as the original. It’s a big responsibility to deliver something that lives up to the mastery of the original, but we are extremely excited and motivated to bring this puzzle back to life and back into the minds of moviegoers.”

If you’re feeling a little acid reflux, that’s probably your lunch climbing up your throat right now. Be prepared for future ailments, however, as that aforementioned library includes over 400 titles, such as Donnie Darko, Sliding Doors, and Cruel Intentions.

Allow me to be the 1,523,293th person to say, “Christ, what a fucking stupid idea.”