04. Elle Driver (Daryl Hannah)
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 & 2 (2003/2004)
The Kill Bill movies have their fair share of evil killers, but none as smug and hateful as Elle Driver, aka California Mountain Snake. There is absolutely nothing appealing about her, except maybe that she’s hot. She’s full of rage and pride and even killed the legendary master Pai Mei after he ripped out her eye because she was being disrespectful. So what does she do? She poisons him. If you ask me, that’s not even an impressive way of killing someone. It’s cowardly and sneaky and just makes her even more detestable. Her ruthlessness is only worsened by how arrogant she is, a conceited smile on her face as she watches her many victims die. It’s aggravating. There’s just something about her. She has so much misplaced ego, and it makes her final scene so damn satisfying. When Beatrix Kiddo snatches out her remaining eye, she writhes on the floor, screaming in pain, swinging blind, still trying to fight. It’s truly pathetic. It’s perfect. It’s what she deserves. God, I hope she’s dead.
03. Maynard (Duane Whitaker)
Pulp Fiction (1994)
Oh, Maynard. What a disaster of a person. Who raised this pervert? What made him so twisted? Many might point to Zed as the obvious prick from Pulp Fiction’s vast selection of sinners, but hear me out: While Zed is a perpetrator of the depraved, Maynard is the real facilitator of evil. He sets everything in motion, like the puppet master of disgust. Remember, kids: there is no Zed without Maynard. Imagine how many people stumbled into his pawnshop, decorated with weapons, and imagine how many he’s dragged into his makeshift torture chamber! He’s clearly got a history as a certifiably dangerous douchebag, which many Tarantino characters do, but Maynard’s got zero charm. Honestly, the most intriguing thing about him is his hesitance to wake up the sleeping Gimp, which isn’t saying much. He’s just a mouth-breathing creep who waits for victims to fall into his trap. The sicko doesn’t seem to even be very proactive about his perversions. Maynard is nefarious and lazy! Awful.
02. Col. Hans Landa (Christoph Waltz)
Inglorious Basterds (2009)
“Oooo, that’s a bingo!” We’ve got ourselves a number two bad guy. A guy so infuriating it’s a wonder we can endure a whole film of him. Col. Hans Landa is the merciless and loathsome Jew Hunter. He’s a compassionless killer, and it’s revealed that his only true allegiance is to himself. Besides his endless acts of murder and, you know, the whole Nazi thing, Landa is just so obnoxious. He laughs a little too long at his own remarks and tends to speak in soliloquies. Landa knows when he’s made someone uncomfortable, and he pushes that button to his satisfaction. He’s increasingly indulgent in his acts of cruelty, taking his time getting to the point of violence so his victim is wholly aware of his power. It’s so easy to hate him, especially when he goes about rewriting his name in history, arguably stealing credit from all of the Inglorious Basterds’ hard work. That is so shameful. But, I have to admit, his verbal dexterity and knowledge of language, paired with his negotiating power and wit, is quite impressive. Still a dick, though.
01. Stephen (Samuel L. Jackson)
Django Unchained (2012)
Can I be frank with you? Now, I’m not a particularly violent person. I’ve never hit someone and have always used my words instead of my fists. But man, what I wouldn’t give to punch this dude straight in the face. Stephen is Calvin Candie’s senior house slave and the true master of Candyland. He is the despicable brain of the operation, the man behind the curtain, a traitor in every sense. Stephen doesn’t just do what he must in order to survive, he thrives on the pain of others and perpetrates a vicious cycle of violence and horror. He’s born into a certain status in the Candie house and thus believes he is untouchable. And unfortunately, he kind of is. He deceptively runs the place, playing the character of a harmless, rickety old man, while in truth, he is a dark and perceptive antagonist who spoils Django and Schultz’s plans. Like, seriously man? You couldn’t take a chill pill and let that slide? Ugh. He has no redeeming qualities at all. Everything about him is repellent and repugnant, and he sparks a violent rage within me that is shocking. I want to kick him in the nuts.
Stephen … is the absolute worst.