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Ranking: Every Red Hot Chili Peppers Song From Worst to Best

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236. “The Hunter”

The Getaway (2016)

red hot chili peppers getaway stream mp3 album Ranking: Every Red Hot Chili Peppers Song From Worst to Best
“Even though you raised me, I will never be your father” and “can’t find my pants or my bank account” are two of the stronger lyrics in this song. The music, for those who haven’t heard it yet, is a puffy, cloudy, and unending stream of the same three chords with a bad melody as its focus point. It’s painful; it hurts. — Dan Bogosian
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235. “Deck the Halls”

Out in L.A. (1994)


Why did the Red Hot Chili Peppers do a childish a capella cover of “Deck the Halls”? I don’t know, man. I just don’t know. —Dan Bogosian
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234. “Sex Rap”

Freaky Styley (1985)


Of all the Chili Peppers’ poor takes on human sexuality, this embarrassing attempt to cram as many sexual references as possible into two minutes wins the prize for the most juvenile. –David Sackllah
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233. “Mommy, Where’s Daddy?”

The Red Hot Chili Peppers (1984)


Intended to be a slinky sex song. Winds up as an unintentional warning about the dangers of pedophiles. –Wren Graves
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232. “Encore”

The Getaway (2016)

red hot chili peppers getaway stream mp3 album Ranking: Every Red Hot Chili Peppers Song From Worst to Best
Some songs are so generic that it’s hard to even make a clever joke about them. This is like that. Apparently, it’s by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. –Dan Bogosian
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231. “Feasting on the Flowers”

The Getaway (2016)

red hot chili peppers getaway stream mp3 album Ranking: Every Red Hot Chili Peppers Song From Worst to Best
Picture the Red Hot Chili Peppers writing a Broadway musical and doing it poorly. This is that song. –Dan Bogosian
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230. “Hump de Bump”

Stadium Arcadium (2006)


You know what was a good song? “American Ghost Dance”. You know what wasn’t good? When the Red Hot Chili Peppers ripped off their own funk song and dumbed it down with a chorus of “hump de bump.” –Dan Bogosian
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229. “Special Secret Song Inside”

The Uplift Mofo Party Plan (1987)

The original title of this song is “Party On Your Pussy”. It’s almost like they want you to know they had some indefensibly bad ideas. –Dan Bogosian
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228. “Politician (Mini Rap)”

“Higher Ground” Single (1989)

As the B-side to “Higher Ground”, there was absolutely no point in recording this. It would have been better left on the cutting room floor. –Kyle Eustice
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227. “Even You Brutus?”

I’m With You (2011)

Between the nonsensical ranting in the cadence of gospel music, the generic, bland melodies of the chorus, the ill-advised historical/religious references, and an almost predatory approach towards younger women, it’s impressive how many bad ideas the latter-day Peppers were able to combine in one song. –David Sackllah
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226. “Go Robot”

The Getaway (2016)

red hot chili peppers getaway stream mp3 album Ranking: Every Red Hot Chili Peppers Song From Worst to Best
Remember those bad, fake-funk songs from I’m With You? This is like the same band trying to rip off themselves at their worst. Make it stop. –Dan Bogosian
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225. “You Always Sing the Same”

The Red Hot Chili Peppers (1984)

This song is really stupid, this song is really stupid, this song is really stupid. This song is really stupid, this song is really stupid, this song is really stupid. –Dan Bogosian
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224. “Victorian Machinery”

I’m Beside You (2013)

Sloppy and lacking any funk whatsoever, they were trying to experiment too much with this one. It sounds more like Soundgarden than classic RHCP. –Kyle Eustice
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223. “Dance, Dance, Dance”

I’m With You (2011)

Even thinking about this song makes me shudder. It’s one thing if you want to write a corny dance-pop song; it’s another thing to make the chorus of that song “Dance, dance, dance.” –Dan Bogosian
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222. “No Chump Love Sucker”

The Uplift Mofo Party Plan (1987)

No matter how many times you repeat it, no matter what cadence it is said in, the phrase “no chump love sucker” is just clunky word mashing from the band that trades in clunky word mashing. –Philip Cosores
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221. “Police Station”

I’m With You (2011)

Ah, Kiedis’ romantic ode to the prostitute that got away (I think … the lyrics don’t make much sense). Stylistically, it’s an over-produced slop that doesn’t fit the band at all, with its AOR backing vocals and awkward attempt at some sort of Americana. –David Sackllah
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