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Fast & Furious 8 teaser is fast, furious, and corny as hell

on December 06, 2016, 11:45am

 

Pop quiz: What are the Fast and Furious films about? If you answered, “street racing, heists, and cool explosions,” you are correct. If you answered, “family,” you are probably Vin Diesel.

Appearing alongside the franchise’s other recurring stars in a new teaser trailer for Fast 8, Diesel strings together a series of platitudes that have very little to do with driving cars very fast. “The open road can take you anywhere,” he says, staring directly at the camera and, presumably, into our souls. “To love or adventure,” Dwayne Johnson suggests, posing in a dimly lit garage in front of two heavily armored vehicles. But, Tyrese Gibson is quick to add, “no matter how our adventures grow, The Fast and the Furious is always about one very important thing: Family.” OK.

All things considered, this is a weirdly sentimental way to introduce the eighth film in a series known for high-octane thrills. The tragic death of star Paul Walker in 2013 gave the franchise a certain emotional heft that it has always worn a bit awkwardly, but never has that awkwardness been more cringe-worthy than it is here. Watch above, and remember: We never ride alone.

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