Late last night, Lana Del Rey tweeted out a picture of herself in black garb along with a mysterious series of dates: “Feb 24, March 26, April 24, May 23.” It turns out they weren’t just random days plucked from a calendar — as Pitchfork confirms, the dates correspond to a worldwide witch-led movement to cast a “binding” spell on President Donald Trump and all of his crooked cronies.
According to The A.V. Club, witches across the globe will begin to attempt to work their magic against the Sentient Cheeto beginning tonight (February 24th), and then again on each waning crescent ritual day — April 24th, May 23rd, and so forth — until he’s long gone from the Oval Office.
In addition to promoting the witching dates, Del Rey implored her fans to gather the other ingredients necessary to complete the ritual. Some of those include: an ugly picture of Trump (allow me to help you with this); a Tower tarot card; a pin; an orange candle or baby carrot; a feather; and matches. Per The A.V. Club, here’s how to perform the ritual:
“Once you have all those ingredients, you’ll just have to inscribe “Donald J. Trump” on the candle or carrot using the pin or nail, arrange the rest of the items in a circle, and start reciting a banishing ritual that includes lines like,
I call upon you / To bind / Donald J. Trump / So that he may fail utterly / That he may do no harm / To any human soul / Nor any tree / Animal / Rock / Stream / or Sea. Bind him so that he shall not break our polity / Usurp our liberty / Or fill our minds with hate, confusion, fear, or despair / And bind, too, / All those who enable his wickedness / And those whose mouths speak his poisonous lies.”
Del Rey may be all about the “Love” on her new single, but certainly not when it comes to POTUS, which, given the fact that he’s moving forward with plans to kill National Endowment for the Arts, PBS and NPR, we’re not all that surprised about. That and he’s also just an all-round emotionless, evil, and sad excuse for a human being.
In related news, Del Rey revealed she and Miles Kane of The Last Shadow Puppets have teamed up for a forthcoming project. She also spoke about the work she’s been doing on her upcoming solo album — a 15-month-long process — and how the LP originally started out as having “like, a ’50s, ’60s feeling, with some kind of Shangri-La, early Joan Baez influences” … until the political mess with Trump began to shake things up.
“As the climate kept on getting more heated politically, I found, like, lyrically everything was just directed towards that, so because of that, the sound just got really updated, and I felt like it was more wanting to, like, talk to the younger side of the audience I have,” she said. “I guess it’s just a little more socially aware. That’s kind of a global feeling.”