Kid Rock is running for Senate. This is ridiculous, of course, because writing raps about wanting to be a cowboy is not a skill that overlaps with creating sensible policies and functioning laws. But on the other hand, it’s not at all ridiculous because he’s a celebrity. Normal candidates have to work hard for voters to learn their names, but celebrities, by definition, are well known. They have an advantage. No wonder there’s been so many celebrity politicians, and I’m not talking just about the White House: Al Franken, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jesse “The Body” Ventura, Fred Thompson, Ronald Reagan, Sonny Bono, and more. It’s woven into the fabric of American democracy.
So, we have to take Kid Rock’s candidacy seriously. Not so seriously that we have to learn his real name just yet because his official campaign website remains KidRockForSenate.com. But still. Seriously-ish.
Inspired by Kid Rock, we’ve decided to look at the relationship between music and politics in the same spirit of seriously-ish. These are 10 Albums That Could Run for Office or, put another way, 10 Albums That Represent a Complete and Coherent Political Philosophy. It’s totally arbitrary, completely made up, and for entertainment purposes only. Or it’s an excuse to fly off in a rage-filled tirade on Twitter. Your choice.
In this game, it is the album that is running for office, not the artist. The album must express a complete worldview. Some worldviews are local, some international, some interested in the economy, social issues, or revolution. We’re going to distill these statements down into policy positions. These policy positions do not have to be sane; after all, music is larger than life, and a political campaign based on music is going to be extreme. After that, we’ll pluck a campaign slogan from the album’s lyrics, locate real politicians with similar belief systems, and take a guess as to how electable that message would be. Along the way there will be amazing music. And remember: This is nothing but a totally meaningless, completely arbitrary assault on you, your values, and everything you hold dear.