Greg Gutfeld thinks of himself as conservative media’s answer to Jon Stewart. In reality, he’s an attention-seeking hack whose schtick consists entirely of baiting one-liners that only he seems to find funny. As such, FOX News has awarded Gutfeld with his own Saturday evening talk show. It was there that commentator Kat Timpf first picked a fight with Radiohead fans when she described them as “strange, malnourished, and sad” and the band’s music “as just elaborate moaning and whining for ring tone sounds.” Gutfeld himself joined the fray in a subsequent episode when he sarcastically quipped that “Radiohead is the poor man’s Coldplay.” The joke really only became funny when Coldplay themselves chimed in, tweeting, “Finally somebody had the balls to say it!”
At this point, any other “comedian” might realize the “joke” had reached its conclusion — but not Greg Gutfeld. During a recent episode of The Five, another FOX News show hosted by Gutfeld, the panel discussed what executive order they would sign if elected president. “I would ban Radiohead in public places,” Gutfeld responded, before regurgitating his previous Radiohead joke with a new qualifier: “Everyone knows they’re a poor man’s Air Supply.”
One of his co-hosts, seemingly oblivious to the events of the last week, noted her surprise that Gutfeld had moved off Red Hot Chili Peppers. “I hate the Red Hot Chili Peppers,” Gutfeld responded. “They’re a poor man’s Smash Mouth.” Hey-o!
So confident in his joke, Gutfeld then took to Twitter to mock the music media for failing to realize he was “chain-yanking” (which is a phrase conservative funnymen apparently use in 2017?). “In the future, I will always be keenly aware of the delicate sensibilities of our precious music journalists, who cannot take a joke, especially if it’s on them.” What Gutfeld fails to realize is we we weren’t in a tizzy about the joke — as if it was even worthy of attention. Rather, we were highlighting the unfunny comments made by a man whose career aspirations were pretty obviously never realized. Instead, he finds himself sitting on a panel of soulless mind-scrapers who laugh along like hyenas, but leave him sad and unfulfilled as he sits and thinks of his glory days editing Maxim magazine. “I used to be somebody” sighs Gutfeld as he gets into his Lincoln Town Car following another day of tireless shoots inside the corporate cess poll of sexual harassment and faux hysteria known as FOX News. As he makes his way home to the Upper West Side, he scrolls through his Twitter feed and smiles: “That Radiohead joke really riled them up” he says and performs a small fist-pump. This will be the lone highlight of Greg Gutfeld’s day. Seconds later, his driver asks if he really believes Obama is a terrorist leader from Kenya seeking to overthrow the Trump administration.
Update: Radiohead producer Nigel Godrich calls Greg Gutfeld’s latest comments a “massive compliment.”