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Try not to cringe watching 30 Seconds to Mars’ deeply uncomfortable performance on Ellen

on October 06, 2017, 3:11pm

30 Seconds to Mars recently stopped by the Ellen show to perform their new quasi religious/protest song “Walk On Water”, and it was really, really fucking awkward. The song is already an odd mashup of religious imagery and political references about having your fist up in the line of fire and which informs us that “the times are changing,” and for some reason, the Leto boys thought it a grand idea to perform the first half on the song sitting in the midst Ellen’s audience.

After a shot showing an empty stage (Gasp—but where is the band!?!?!) the camera then does a dramatic, swooping 180-degree turn to reveal the band is, in fact, sitting in the audience (Gasp! But how?!?) amongst the housewives. From there, things digress quickly. The choir in attendance awkwardly sings along, positioned behind a group of audience members who are sitting on the stage—which, again, has zero band members on it—and, for some reason, Ellen is standing awkwardly in the choir’s midst, also singing. Befitting the song’s lyrical content, Jared Leto rocks both a massive beard and a poncho like the guru of some LSD soaked religious cult that lives in the parking lot of a Phish show. When the musician/actor sings lines referring to the political left and right, he literally looks to the left and right of him at ladies who seem to be experiencing a mixture of erotic pleasure and befuddlement at being so close to LSD Jesus they can touch the hem of His poncho. Ellen—famous for dancing—does not really dance, and instead does her best “white person standing in place but also kinda moving to the music with my arms awkwardly at my sides” moves. The audience and band dramatically stand up and then sit once more in unison a couple of times—really, the whole thing is a pretentious, Suicide Squad level mess that is frankly hard to watch. Behold:

“Walk On Water” is 30 Seconds to Mars’ first new music since their album Love, Lust, Faith and Dreams dropped four years ago, and the band has announced the record will be accompanied by a documentary about the band directed by frontman Narcissus—er, Leto—that will feature leftover footage shot by fans for “Walk On Water’s” video. Leto also recently announced plans to play the late Hugh Hefner in a biopic from Brett Ranter, another couple of men who think/thought they walk on water.

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