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Liam Gallagher mocks Noel’s scissor player: “I’m gonna have someone sharpening a pencil at my gig”

on November 03, 2017, 3:10pm

Noel Gallagher must be a fan of Nathan For You, because how else do you explain the High Flying Birds’ newest band member? During an appearance on Later with Jools Holland this week, Gallagher was accompanied by his High Flying Birds backing band — which included a woman playing scissors.

Now, the moment we’ve all been waiting for: Liam has chimed in. Speaking to BBC Radio 1, the former Oasis singer said he didn’t understand his estranged brother’s performance on Jools Holland; not only was the scissorist (?) playing “very badly,” according to Liam, but she couldn’t even be heard. He then proceeded to mock Noel by brainstorming some bits he could incoporate into his own live show.

(Read: The History of Oasis Post-Breakup, As Tweeted by Liam Gallagher)

“I’m gonna have someone sharpening a pencil at my gig. It’s gonna properly blow people’s minds,” Liam quipped. “Or, I’ll peel a banana or something live on air, that’ll be good. Maybe get a sticker book out and like, put stickers in it. With a load of reverb on it, and with the right crowd and if you give them enough booze, I think it’ll go down well.”

“It’s alright if you’re twenty and you’re off your head on mushrooms, but the guy’s fifty now,” Liam said of his brother and former bandmate. “You know what I mean? If he’s really trying to convince people that playing scissors is the right way to go about business, he needs to have a big, long, lie down.”

Watch Noel’s scissor-aided performance of “She Taught Me How to Fly” below.

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