If you’re over the age of 30, odds are your early fears were shaped by Alvin Schwartz. The guy made a living for awhile there churning out relatable folklore of the spooky variety with his collection of books dubbed, Scary Stories to Tell In The Dark. You know, classic tales like “High Beams”, “Harold”, “The Bed by the Window”, and “The Red Spot”. Remember those? If not, you certainly haven’t forgotten the stories’ nightmarish artwork, brought back from hell by Stephen Gammell (see above). Sheesh.
Well, as we reported awhile back, CBS Films wants to turn those tales into a movie of sorts. Originally, director Guillermo del Toro was interested in the project, but since The Shape of Water is getting all that Oscar praise, he probably has better things to do now than talk about weird kids with sick fucking toes and what have you. So, the studio has gone ahead and tapped an admirable replacement in André Øvredal, who helmed last year’s throwback horror flick, The Autopsy Of Jane Doe.
Oddly enough, though, the film doesn’t appear to be an anthology. Over at Deadline, there’s a short plot summary, and it sounds like a pretty straightforward narrative, which … well, who knows what the hell to expect. Here’s the literature:
“The thriller follows a group of young teens who must solve the mystery surrounding sudden and macabre deaths in their small town. Kevin Hageman and Dan Hageman (The Lego Movie) wrote the most recent draft based on the books.”
Some of you will be thrilled to see those Hageman boys involved. Not I, said the bear, seeing how The Lego Movie basically boiled down to 90 minutes of Chris Pratt yelling like a moron with a narrative that hid behind its own cool meta ways. Whatever. It made money and everyone and their mother (literally) loved it, so here’s hoping this film is just as hip and accommodating. “Whoa, Mike, you kind of changed your tone here,” you might say. Hey, it’s been a week, lay off me.
In related news, don’t forget there’s a Scary Stories documentary out there, too.