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The 50 Greatest Explosions on Film: You’re Welcome, America!

on July 04, 2018, 2:00pm
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Commando

House Explosion

Fuck CGI and fuck all these stupid houses. Nobody’s denying those stupid houses are models, and the figures standing before them painted dolls. But Jesus, there’s something unsettling the way they just stand still as the fire spews out. They are paralyzed by fear. Fear of John Matrix. I would be, too. –Randall Colburn

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Rambo: First Blood Part II

Exploding Arrow Head

Rambo First Blood Part II is not only the most annoying title, but it’s also a red state wet dream about an angry loner picking up where the U.S. government failed, and personally kicking the crap out of something like a thousand Soviets and Vietnamese soldiers in the mid-’80s with gratuitous weapons, like an exploding arrow head … Mr. Rambo, you got a permit for that? –Blake Goble

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The Rock

Alcatraz Goes Bye Bye

It’s a shame that Al Capone, The Birdman, or even Machine Gun Kelly couldn’t hold on to life for just a few decades more. If only they’d survived, they could have watched their former residence being blown all the way up Zeus’ Butthole! But alas, these legendary crooks weren’t around to bear witness. And neither was Sean Connery’s elusive, James Bond-inspired John Mason character because he used the explosion as an excuse to simply disappear, leaving Nicolas Cage with nothing left to do but go home and fuck the prom queen. –Dan Pfleegor

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Die Hard

Nakatomi, Baby!

The best explosion in the best film ever made, this scene openly mocks us by having John McClane skirt death about six dozen times. It’s tense and perfect and iconic, and it’s probably the first time we really hate Hans because he’s so ready to let Karl die. ‘Da fuck, Hans? Karl rules. –Randall Colburn

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Independence Day

The White House

A lot of people get worked up about the White House blowing up, and yeah, that’s awesome, but as a kid I always found myself so sad for the people in that helicopter. –Randall Colburn

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The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly

Bridge Explosion

All that stands between Blondie (Clint Eastwood), Tuco (Eli Wallach), and the fortune they’ve been chasing is a Confederate-run bridge. So what’s left to do but demolish it? It’s hard to say what’s more memorable: Tuco bracing for the explosion ass-first, or the shrapnel that lands all the way over by them. –Dominick Suzanne-Mayer

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The Bridge on the River Kwai

Another Bridge Explosion

So much forced effort to make a bridge in Burma, and all those plots, plans, and abused POWs. For what? The perils of war. The Bridge on the River Kwai truly goes out with a bang, when the eponymous bridge gets laid to waste. Madness! … Madness! –Blake Goble

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True Lies

One More Damn Bridge Explosion

It’s another damn bridge explosion. What do you want from me? [“The bridge is out!”–Randall Colburn

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Desperado

Antonio Walks Away

A sexy explosion with sexy people. Antonio Banderas is sexy, and Salma Hayek is sexy, and I could just tell you that the fire erupted because two people who are that sexy should never make sexy because it will cause a sexy explosion that kills only the non-sexy, and you would absolutely believe me. –Randall Colburn

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The Rundown

The Rock Walks Away

Real tough guys never look at the explosion. And just behold Dwayne Johnson in what we’ll call his pre-Southland Tales phase. The real explosion is about to happen out of that shirt, amirite? –Dominick Suzanne-Mayer

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