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Ranking: Every Beastie Boys Album from Worst to Best

on April 24, 2020, 1:00pm
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08. The Mix-Up (2007)

Beastie Boys - The Mix-Up

Runtime: 42:43, 12 tracks

Ch-Check It Out (Album Art): If you stare at the tape reel, wedge of cheese, and umbrella long enough, you’ll eventually recognize the name of your favorite hip-hop trio across the top of the album cover. As for the contraption below conceived by graphic artist Bill McMullen, it’s enlightening to know that it takes a seahorse and a little, green whosie-whatsit on a hand crank to pump out these Beastie instrumentals.

Sure Shot (Best Song): From the opening handclap percussion straight through the build to that eventual all-out jam, “Off the Grid” is the type of groove that we would’ve loved to have seen become something more. Then again, maybe that isn’t really the point.

Sabotage (Worst Song): It’s difficult, and possibly pointless, to pick a worst track off an album all but the most die-hard Beastie Boys fans will never own and skip all together, but if we have to pick out a dud among a steady flow of semi-interesting head-boppers, we’ll go with … eh, pick your own weak sauce.

The New Style (Beastiest Moment): Sensing it was only fair to warn fans that this wouldn’t be a typical Beasties record, the band emailed the following to their mailing list prior to release: “OK, here’s our blurb about our new album — it spits hot fire! — hot shit! it’s official… it’s named THE MIX-UP. g’wan. all instrumental record. ‘see i knew they were gonna do that!’ that’s a quote from you. check the track listing and cover below. you love us. don’t you?”

Gotta love the “you love us. don’t you?”

Picture This (Best Video): One of the group’s most memorable moments came when the boys were on SNL and began playing “Sabotage”, only to be interrupted by Elvis Costello and then join him in busting out an Attractions-worthy version of “Radio Radio”. It showed that the Beasties can have just as much fun making noise in the background. “Suco De Tangerina” finds them once again relegated to the sidelines and soaking up the scene, even if the room is spinning because someone spiked Ad-Rock’s punch. As for defusing a bomb in that condition, well, we can’t recommend that.

Oh Word? (Fun Fact): The band originally intended to follow up this release with a version that featured vocals from a series of guests. M.I.A. and Jarvis Cocker were among the artists rumored to be involved in the project. Alas (or maybe not), it never came to pass, and the band moved on to hot sauces.

That’s It That’s All (Verdict): Haters are gonna hate, and, no, you’ll not be that much poorer for all together skipping The Mix-Up. Still, the Beasties have rarely been given enough credit for their musical abilities and, probably more importantly, their ears as musicians. So, while 2007’s The Mix-Up — an album consisting entirely of instrumentals — might have smacked of a production goof failing to include the band’s vocals, it actually allowed the Beasties a chance to sit back and enjoy being musicians first and MCs second (or not at all) for one of the few times across three decades. It’s not a necessary detour, but a pleasant enough one for those who love music, records, and sounds as much as Ad-Rock, Mike D, and MCA. –Matt Melis


07. To the 5 Boroughs (2004)

Beastie Boys - To the 5 Boroughs

Runtime: 44:37, 15 tracks

Ch-Check It Out: An album cover that can easily be skipped over for those who remain unimpressed by the music within, architect-turned-artist Matteo Pericoli’s panoramic illustration of New York City doubles as an epic seven-page foldout.

Sure Shot: “Ch-check It Out” has become one of the most instantly recognizable Beastie bits to ever grace public consciousness.

Sabotage: “In a World Gone Mad” is exemplary of why To the 5 Boroughs falls flat: the flow is disjointed, the lyrics uninspired, the politics feel pre-canned.

Pass the Mic (Illest Lyric): “Is the US gonna keep breaking necks/ Maybe it’s time that we impeach Tex” or, for the Picard fans among us (read: this writer): “All you Trekkies and TV addicts/ Don’t mean to diss don’t mean to bring static/All you Klingons in the fucking house/ Grab your backstreet friend and get loud.”

Rhymin & Stealin (Sickest Sample): “Triple Trouble” not only transports listeners back to hip-hop’s early days. It also puts its money where its mouth is and samples the opening of “Rapper’s Delight”.

The New Style: “An Open Letter to NYC” may not be the weirdest, but it’s a track that is everything Beastie Boys are about.

Picture This: In a competition for most hilarious video, “Ch-check it out” is a top contender. Filmed on the streets of New York, the clip is a balls-to-the-wall masterclass in hell-raising. There’s Trekkie fist fights, enraged grannies, and so much more.

Oh Word?: Jon Stewart once said “In a World Gone Mad” sounded “like a commercial for an extreme soft drink.” Yikes.

That’s It That’s All: Whereas every other Beastie Boys output sounds innovative and prides itself on eccentricity and eclecticism, To the 5 Burroughs feels lyrically and sonically homogenous. Even on a record that prides itself on creating emotional connections to listeners when all of the theatrics have been stripped away, Beasties’ love letter to the city that made them feels more like a shallow selling point than anything else. —Irene Monokandilos


06. Hot Sauce Committee Part Two (2011)

Beastie Boys - Hot Sauce

Runtime: 44:07, 16 tracks

Ch-Check It Out: Hot Sauce Committee Part Two is synesthesia pressed into the grooves of your musical format of choice. The artwork echoes as much.

Sure Shot: Many argue that “Make Some Noise” was the last truly epic Beastie Boys output. This writer agrees. Released a year before MCA’s death following a battle with cancer, the track shows the Beastie Boys at 40 could run circles around their youngest contemporaries. A rollicking display of confidence, “Make Some Noise” is a full-circle finale built on numerous textures, crystalline drumming, and a raucous energy that hearkens back to where it all started.

Sabotage: On “Don’t Play No Game That I Can’t Win”, Beastie Boys welcomed on Santigold for a reggae collaboration that feels so outside the scope of the experimentation we’re used to, it’s hard to justify the track’s inclusion on the LP.

Pass the Mic: “Hear my perfection, rotary connection/ Taking MCs down by lethal rap injection”

Rhymin & Stealin: On an album wrought with walls of space-age sound, you probably wouldn’t expect Bob Dylan to crop up, would you? That’s exactly what happens on “Funky Donkey”, which borrows from Dylan’s “Subterranean Homesick Blues”.

The New Style: One would think the inclusion of one more rapper on a Beastie Boys track wouldn’t make too much of an impression, but the juxtaposition of Nas’ lackadaisical delivery and the group’s fiery output feels so weird that it works.

Picture This: The 30-minute MCA-directed video for “Make Some Noise” feels like an eerie epitaph. Featuring two Beastie line-ups (Elijah Wood, Seth Rogen and Danny McBride are one, Will Ferrell, Jack Black and John C Reilly the other) battling on a New York street, the almost-short-film is a perfect amalgamation of the cheeky Beastie Boy brand.

Oh Word?: “Make Some Noise” was adapted by Kidz Bop. No, really

That’s It That’s All: Hot Sauce Committee Part Two is an extremely detailed elegy to the Beastie Boys with a message ready to slap listeners hotly in the face: The Boys are still the boss, at any age and under any circumstance. Pairing new robust sounds with production tricks from the likes of Hello Nasty and Ill Communication, Hot Sauce Committee proves the group remained witty, experimental, and unflinchingly fun. However, that revelry comes at a price: HSCII is almost too digestible and falls short when the old school Beasties try to full steam ahead into completely modern mixes. –Irene Monokandilos


05. Hello Nasty (1998)

Beastie Boys - Hello Nasty

Runtime: 67:28, 22 tracks

Ch-Check It Out: A four-year gap between albums isn’t unusual for a veteran band, but make no mistake about it: 1994’s Ill Communication seemed ages ago come Hello Nasty’s release in 1998. The group themselves, however, looked and sounded better than ever. If the album artwork is to be believed, perhaps the Beasties had locked in the freshness and killed the time in a sardine tin. We’re told Tupperware breathes better … Just saying.

Sure Shot: Everything about “Intergalactic” felt like a revelation in 1998. Fresh out of the sardine tin, vocoder in tow, came that forward and backwards robotic voice that’s as recognizable today as any riff from the decade. The trio themselves have never sounded better either, running a three-man weave of punctuated braggadocio as only they could: “Jazz and AWOL, that’s our team/ Step inside the party, disrupt the whole scene/ When it comes to beats, well, I’m a fiend/ I like my sugar with coffee and cream.” That’s how we take it, too!

Sabotage: At 22 tracks and nearly 70 minutes, there’s usually going to be some fat around the edges. If I have to send a single song into space with that robot in the “Intergalactic” video, never to be seen or heard from again, I’d boot “Song for the Man”. There are more effective ways to offer a cooldown or change of pace than the Monty Python tactic of doing something completely different and out of place. Again, plenty of fat on this album. Knock off 3-4 tracks of your choice, and nobody would flinch.

Pass the Mic: “I don’t mean to brag/ I don’t mean to boast/ But I’m intercontinental when I eat French toast” — from “The Move”

Rhymin & Stealin: Among their stranger samples, the instructions from Ed Durlacher’s physical fitness recording paired with a steel orchestra muse makes “Body Movin'” feel like a rigorous island boot camp for Beasties in training.

The New Style: Sampling their own “drrrroooopppp” from “The New Style”.

Picture This: “Intergalactic” again. This silly tale from space — equal parts Godzilla and Power Rangers — felt like a homecoming from another planet. It features the fab three famously shifting gears and speeds as they rap into their signature low-shot cam atop a track sampling sci-fi fare as bizarre as the Resonator from From Beyond and the theme song from The Toxic Avenger. The whole package somehow felt ahead of its time, like an homage, and out of this world — simultaneously. That’s actually a pretty good way to describe Beastie Boys.

Oh Word?: So, the idea for the album title apparently came from someone at the band’s PR (Nasty Little Man) who would always answer the telephone: “Hello, Nasty.” So, there you go.

That’s It That’s All: After leaning on their own instruments on Ill Communication, Beastie Boys returned with Mix Master Mike and a design to spin in a whole other direction. As a result, Hello Nasty unfolds like a smorgasbord of beats, styles, and flow — arguably their most ambitious and creative endeavor since the rep-making Paul’s Boutique. In hindsight, the hit record does suffer from a lack of editing. For every tight jam or perfectly executed three-man weave, there’s a loose song that either gets away, doesn’t fit, or could drop off the edge of the album and not be missed. That’s bound to happen when a disc bears the load of nearly 70 minutes across 22 tracks. Still, always better to have too much at the buffet than not enough to go around. Now, pass that French toast. –Matt Melis

Click ahead for more Beasties greatness…


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