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The Bachelorette Returns to Capture All the Quarantine Horniness

on June 27, 2020, 12:56pm

Isolation can be lonely, but the fantasy romances of The Bachelorette are returning to comfort us with roses, bottles of wine, and long kisses angled just so for the cameras.

According to Variety, The Bachelorette is the first major series to resume production after industry-wide coronavirus lockdowns. Now, producers are sprinting to get a new crop of hot people into quarantine. The idea is to take a few dozen strapping hunks, cut them off from human contact, check their temperatures, and dump them at the feet of one lucky gal (Clare Crawley). Tastefully-edited horniness ensues.

The whole cast and crew will quarantine together on location. Everyone will be tested before they enter, and as filming progress they’ll be subjected to regular thermometer probes and nasal swabs. It doesn’t sound like the cast will wear masks, and indeed, the exchange of some fluids is part of the appeal. But the crew at least will be shielded by PPE, and the producers have promised other safety precautions.

No official start date has been set, though a source told Variety that, “The cast will start traveling very soon because there has to be a quarantine period.” In other words, contestants have to hurry up and wait, which seems like a pretty good metaphor for love in the time of coronavirus.

Earlier this month, The Bachelorette’s fraternal twin The Bachelor made headlines by casting Matt Jame as the show’s first-ever Black lead.

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