The coronavirus pandemic is still raging on, and that means everyone should follow the CDC guidelines: quarantine when you’re feeling sick, socially distance when you’re out, and wear a mask if there’s anyone nearby no matter what. Thankfully, Nine Inch Nails can help you with that last step, as they’ve just rolled out their own line of face masks to deal with COVID-19.
Say hello to the “NIN Modular Face Mask Starter Kit”, a $35 ctton face mask deal that comes with interchangeable messages “for uncertain times” like these. Both of the grey and black masks have a filter, a bendable nose band, adjustable over-the-ear ringlets, and 13 replaceable patches to let the world know how you’re feeling: “DIRTY,” “CLEAN,” “NUMB,” “ENRAGED,” “BROKEN,” “FIXED,” “FRAGILE,” “PIG,” “ASLEEP,” “AWAKE,” “COMPLIANT,” and “RESISTANT.”
“Make friends or start fights — you are in control,” reads the band’s announcement post on Instagram. “Patches can be swapped to match your mood. Patches can be swapped to match your desperation level.”
If none of those words accurately capture your mood, then consider purchasing the $15 expansion pack which features 13 additional patches: “OBSOLETE,” “CONTAGIOUS,” “RESENTFUL,” “DISAPPOINTED,” “DOOMED,” “ALONE,” “READY,” “INFECTED,” “DEAD,” “BELIEVER,” “WITHDRAWN,” “ENTITLED,” and “DELUSIONAL.”
Pre-orders for the NIN masks — which they’re calling INASAAIBIS, aka “I’M NOT A SELFISH ASSHOLE AND I BELIEVE IN SCIENCE” — are currently ongoing at the band’s website. They’re expected to ship the week of December 14th and will complement NIN’s other pandemic merch perfectly.
This is Trent Reznor and co. we’re talking about, though, so of course there’s more to this latest announcement. In fine print at the bottom of their Instagram post, Nine Inch Nails left a message for their fans that compliments their good looks, labels them intelligent, and encourages them to vote for Joe Biden.
“Why are you reading this small print here, anyway? It’s just a mask — how complicated can it be?” it reads. “Seriously though, since you are reading this and one can safely assume you must be at least peripherally interested in Ninch Inch Nails, one can then project with some degree of certainty that you are of above-average intelligence and good looking. In addition, it’s safe to ascertain you already know that wearing a mask isn’t an affront to your ‘personal freedom’ or any other politicized nonsense, it’s simply the decent and right thing to do. These are extraordinary times, and you are extraordinary. Take care of yourselves and take care of each other. Oh, and if you’re in the US, please vote for Biden.”
Editor’s Note: Consequence of Sound is also selling face masks, and we’re donating a portion of all proceeds to independent musicians through the MusiCares’ COVID-19 Artist Relief Fund.